KC Chiefs post an ad in Craigslist for new GM
 

http://kansascity.craigslist.org/ofc/3278105751.html

I thought you all would enjoy this.

http://i.imgur.com/jvfZf.jpg

Updated the OP since my last post was flagged.

*bumped. see post 66 as to why:
http://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showpost....1&postcount=66

It's probably Bump.

Eh, it won't do any good. Bump will just mess with them.

Nope... it was me.

I love CL!!!! /Clark

Noice.

I'll do it, and I'll even kick an extra million off my starting yearly salary. I'm pretty kick ass like that.

LMAO

Awesome!

LMAO nice!

That is classic!!!! rep and rep!!

funny sh** i think a nutless monkey could do a better job than pioli

yup

One reply so far... Just said awesome.

I'm wondering if anyone will call the number at the bottom tomorrow and ask about the job posting on craigslist. Lol

I'm submitting my resume right now.

That reply was me.
Posted via Mobile Device

Heh. Just posted this on facebook.

Looks like I already have an interview. Wish me luck everyone!

Posted on Facebook also...this one will make the rounds soon!

I put it on twitter but honestly... I have no ****ing idea how to use it. LOL

BWAHAHAHA...

I just received a real resume from someone who apparently didn't take the time to read the ad. I'm guessing they were mass replying to every add in KC CL.

Let him be (in retrospect, after changing his mind) right for once...

It hasn't been 50 years...yet.

I stole the banner from an email they sent me. Dunno wot to tell you there. :D

It's not about being right...it's about sending A MESSAGE.

EVERYTHING BURNS.

http://i.imgur.com/hqb4I.jpg

Did you need any help translating the instructions on your "glorious master cd player"?

I tweeted this to @kcchiefs.

I'm guessing they will go to CL and flag it as spam. I'll put it back up if they do. The best thing they could do to me would be to cancel my season tickets and refund me. lol

OK (albeit unoriginal)concept...poor / unfunny actual execution....


2/10 = fail

I emailed this thread to Pioli.

I'd do it for ONE MILLION CC MONIES

*pinky to the lip*

lol

I wish it was me!

God.. I'm crushed I don't have your approval. :)

What would you suggest to improve it?

I have about 32,000 camel cash I can't use now.

DO IT!:cuss:

I've received 12 "applications" so far. TBH, I'm shocked this hasn't been pulled from CL by now.

I think it is. Not working now, says post will be removed.

Did you just flag it? It was working 5 minutes before I posted here.

LMAO

goes to show you how much activity there is at chiefs HQ:D

ROFL

Shawn Moynihan ‏@lucki777s

@kcchiefs hey what's the deal with you guys putting an ad in Craig's list for a new GM?
Expand

FAX

and the ad is back up now... :D

http://kansascity.craigslist.org/ofc/3278105751.html

/updated OP

I went to craigslist and this was all I could find:

im looking to cum by your place or maybe u get a room tommorrow... i just want it really really thickkkkkk im really thin and tiny down there so fatter the better with tool looking 4 tommorow dont waste time lets set time place and no strings attached real please dont waste time if your not black bevery thick be close have picsdo me in the backseat of my bfs car with him watching in enjoyment looking now u must be fwb be a GENtleman you must have a single pic of your cock with face in same pic need it nowww

OMFG.....that is really intimidating. Stereotyping has helped no one achieve anything in life.

And that's an actual ad I copy and pasted.

Any one of us would fare better. It's easy, just get a good QB. Boom...genius.

This. Is. Awesome. Not only for being funny, but for the truth of the message. Well done.

At this point I would be happy with a Madden prodigy.

And another dumbass sends me his full resume.

Ask them to come to Arrowhead and apply in person....

Post it on more than one city...

I think that is what I am going to do next. When I get home I am going to post this ad in Sandy Eggo, Denver, and Oakland CL.

Don't forget Texas.

I'm gonna send this out to the cities of our division rivals. From there, I hope to hit all 32 cities that house an NFL team.

It is on Twitter now and has been forwarded to a few national media types.

thanks!

Man, those piggys are getting kinky. Are you doing your job well enough?

I am willing to do it for a modest sum. Your team will take a dive twice a year but will play hard versus SD and OAK. That's something.

Try this one:

Hello,

Thank you for your interest in the Owner position for the Kansas City Chiefs. In the past 40 years, we have miserably failed our fan base in delivering the ultimate prize in NFL football. During that time, we have also failed miserably to deliver the trophy with the previous owner's name on it, and have failed to win a single playoff game for 19 years. In fact, since our beautiful stadium opened 40 years ago, the Chiefs have won exactly ONE playoff game there. Since we prefer not to be known as the Cubs of football or change Arrowhead's name to Wrigley Stadium, it is time for new ownership.

Qualified applicants will have a truckload of money and actually live in the Kansas City metropolitan area, or be named Mark Cuban. The applicant will be required to be a fan of the team, and not an absentee landlord using it as an out-of-state cash cow. The applicant will be required to NOT hire ANYBODY who ever had anything to do with the New England Patriots, including executives, washed-up coaches and players, and especially any crappy backup quarterbacks who never played in college. The applicant will be required to actually spend money on the team, and not be $26,000,000 under the salary cap. Being self-made would be a plus, since that whole trust fund baby thing has proven to be a big negative.

Compensation will match what the applicant puts into the team. Give us a winner, and we'll buy tickets and merchandise, and you'll make a fortune.

I've received 3 emails with Full resumes from people applying to this job just this morning.

LMFAO

Posted it on Reddit as well.

http://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comme...neral_manager/

This is great. Might be even better than the "Start Tebow" billboards if it takes off...

LMAO

And put it on Monster & CareerBuilder & LinkedIn

You do realize that a lot of people looking for jobs, use careerbuilder and monster, ect..which have their own search engines that scour the internet for similar tags and post those resumes automatically.

Finally got an application I can post:

Good afternoon.


I read your ad and was really drawn to it.

First, let me tell your right off I have no interest in candy wrappers and I hate the New England Patriots. And when I say I hate them, I mean it.

I lost my last job to a man who once worked for the New England Patriots, and I've hated them ever since.


I know you said no previous GM experience was required, but it just so turns out I have over a decade of experience as a GM for a major NFL franchise.

In fact, since you mentioned you were looking for a QB, CB and LG, I just have to point out that I know exactly what to look for at these positions.


For instance:

The last QB I acquired had a very, very strong arm. We all know the NFL is a passing league. I've seen your current quarterback. His arm is laughable. I would expect no less from a player acquired by that moron from New England.
Before that, I traded for a veteran QB who was rivaled only by Peyton Manning in terms of passing production. Need I say more?

I once plucked a left guard from the 7th round of the NFL draft who went on to start 171 games in 13 years. That was when I was just a young pup executive, though. I replaced the 171-game starter with a converted fullback, whom I signed
as a free agent for practically nothing. He went on to play in six Pro Bowls. Impressed? Also, his career ended in New England, where he was just terrible, again proving the Patriots have no idea what they're doing.

My ability to find cornerbacks is unparalleled. The last corner I drafted was a mere 5th round pick. He recently signed a very rich contract with the Dallas Cowboys, who in fact stated that they overpaid for his services. I also had the foresight to sign an aging cornerback a few years ago - a player no one else really wanted, due to some concerns over his foot - and it turned out really well. All the other GMs were pretty jealous when that cornerback led my team to the playoffs. Oh, and the team that dumped that superb corner? The Patriots. They're just...an awful, awful franchise.


You can see where I'm going with this. We're really a perfect fit for each other.

And I already know who I'll hire to be my head coach. He's actually got a lot of head-coaching experience. He's won playoff games. He's been away from the game for a few years, working at ESPN, so he's hungry. He's a perfect fit, quite frankly.

The $5 million a year is an outstanding offer. I have to inquire about your company dress code - is black leather permitted? It's a classy look that I enjoy sporting.

One more thing - I enjoy writing, especially about my occupation and the sport of pro football that I love so much. As part of any potential contract, if I could be permitted to pen a weekly column on your team's website (perhaps under a pen name, so as to remain anonymous), it would be much appreciated. As you know, it's important to have a voice reaching the fans. I could be that voice.


I love your organization. We can do this. I've attached a photo - hope to hear back!

http://i.imgur.com/8KBET.jpg

^^^ That is awesome and makes me want to puke all at the same time.

This is one of the best threads ever!!! ROTFLMAO

:thumb:

The ad is still up as of 6:20pm EST

Yep, let's do it again:

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/v.../PIOLIMEMO.png

So, Clay brought it to my attention that this ad in Craigslist that I made almost a month ago apparently got some attention on the news. This was my first strike against the two asshats and a precursor to the banner.

http://i.imgur.com/qJ6s2.jpg

Dang dude...you are really making an impact. So, what was Dawson's take on that? Is there video for that anywhere?

Dawson probably thought it was a real advertisement

I would love to see that video. Can't find it on KMBC's sports section.

He doesn't have it. The video has goon poof. The only thing that turned up was that still.

Even then though... that is pretty ****ing awesome.