Put a Virgin Mary statue on your front porch. Works on Jehovah Witnesses too.

Tuck up yer' nuts and just use the ****ing hose on 'em...

answer the door with a huge plate of spaghetti next time.

;)

That will actually work. we get them out here too and I always just tell them we're catholic and they trundle off into the sunset politely. No, we're not catholic.

What did you do? Show em' your tat?

I'm kidding Bro.

Did you offer them a Coke or a beer?

Have to have your pants on backwards.

midget mormons scare me

I was visiting my dad last summer and his girlfriend was living with him at the time. She had a 13 year old son who was staying there as well. This kid was a terror...a real shithead. One day the mormons came knocking and his mom got up to answer the door. When the kid saw who it was he got up and left the room. I didn't know what he was doing, but when he walked into the living room with a large life-like dildo I almost pissed myself. He went to the door and said "Mom, I found this in the laundry room, do you want me to put it back in your dresser?"

The two guys at the door immediately left. No questions, no words...just left. It was epic. She flipped.

ROFL

That kid is my hero.

I had JW knock on my door one day. They handed me something to read and I flipped to the very first page. Watchtower, huh? Not interested I said.

Someday I'm going to schedule a Mormon and a JW to come to my house at exactly the same time. I'm going to tell them that both of their belief systems sound very intriguing, but which one is the truth? I will then grab my bag of popcorn and sit back and enjoy.

They like to come to my apartment at around 930am, its always on days i get to sleep in. I just about flipped shit on them the first time, i stopped answering after that but they continue to come.

In this rare case, I would rather it be mormons.