Rain Man wins.

What I do every year: dress up as a gladiator and say in my best Australian accent: "What we do in life echoes through Eternity!"

Ironclad.

The lowly Ascent member speaks the truth:

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"We can talk or not talk forever and still find things to not talk about"

I didn't even see a hoodie in the damn picture. I thought he was joking when he asked the question but apparently not.

That would work, as long as you had the twelve pack and pecks to go with it!!

There's a perfect costume for that. A ski mask, gloves, a crowbar and duct tape. The most important part - after you're done, make sure to snap their neck and toss their body in a dumpster behind Denny's. That way they can't go to the cops. Make sure it's a Denny's. The decomposing body will blend in with the smell of their rotting grand slam sausages. Trick r treat!

The best costume is cash.

Lots of cash.

I've got the straight winner for you, as dreamed up by a tv studio owner in Chicago i met while on a gig in 1998.

First, you need a sturdy cardboard box big enough to slide over your torso & long enough to cover all of your crotch, to be hung by straps over the shoulder.

You need to build/glue/whatever into it a second cardboard wall that sits directly in front of your chest, but leaves close to a foot of open box in front of you, the outermost, front side of the box should have a good sized door that can be opened cut into it, the front door of the club.

Paint the outside of the box like a seedy strip club in garrish colors, with some raunchy name headlining it... then paint the inside of it some wild color, cut & paste raunchy pictures from dirty mags all over the inside of the box, like a dirty club. Now, cut a smaller door into the inner wall that you built into it, with a headline like VIP ROOM, directly over your wang.

Let them "get in" the front door for free, but charge $1 for VIP access, when they pay, they get to open the vip door & get a birds eye view of your member. I've always wanted to do it, but just never feel like putting in the work.

Oh, somehow rig up some battery powered lights on the inside of the "club", that was a big part of it as well. Its a lotta work, but its the best idea i've ever heard.

Put a box around your waist and put a bed sheet on it to look like a tablecloth. Next get a white t shirt and write 1 night stand on the shirt. Find an old lamp shade to wear as a hat. Add additional shit as needed to imply that your a nightstand. The one night stand just advertises that your here strictly on business.

Pro tip. Bring a bat or large stick to fight off the large swarms of vagina :)

Ha ha. Red's EXCITED! Hope you get a nice look at that vag.

Dress as a pimp. Slap some hos.