buy her a shake weight and tell her she's going to need to build that endurance up

it's cold outside in KC

maybe some anti-freeze?

Sherrys berries and a fleshlight.

the 2nd season of Glee

7 roses and a butt plug.

3rd date and your showing her I love you signs?
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I ****ing HATE Valentines Day, but i'd sit through some chick flick if she lets me PIIHB. It's just that they seem to EXPECT shit for this "holiday".

get her 10 dozen roses

20

send her one dozen of roses per hour of the day with handwritten notes attached

Oooooohhhhh. Good point. I was just trying to seal the deal but now I don't know. Women are just touchy about this holiday in particular. I just REALLY wanna hit that.

Get her a gift card for starbuck or a massage or tanning booth.

get her an entire tanning booth!? That may be pricey.

My gf and I decided 4 years ago to say **** Valentines day and its commercial bullshit and, instead, make a concerted effort to show each other how we feel more often year-round. After all, if you're doing something nice for your s.o. Once a year because someone says you should, then wtf does that say about your relationship? I realize that most girls don't think this way, but I've got a good one. We'll go have dinner usually, but there's no gifts involved. It's just stupid.

Get her a ugly escort, with a small penis. She'll be disgusted and have to turn to you for sex, provided you're more attractive than the escort.

buy her 12 Nuva Rings

I guess I'm just pissed at myself for starting this shit BEFORE VD. Dammit.