Gladiator 2018 - Round 2, Match 13 - RockChalk versus Fire Me Boy!
 

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue - Easter Island
Starting Distance - 50196 feet

RockChalk

Main Weapon - A small zero-turn-radius riding lawn mower capable of 10 mph, with the mower blades open on the front of the machine like a propellor
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 9 Minutes
Special Factors - None

Fire Me Boy!

Main Weapon - Police baton
Backup Weapon - 20 sharp small ninja stars

Prep Time - 4 Minutes
Special Factors - Your main weapon is given to you at the beginning of your prep time, not at time t=0, but it's in one of those hard to open plastic shrinkwrapped clamshell things.

FMB in a wash.


I doubt the mower has 10 miles of gas in it. Once it runs out it’s all over but the crying.

What kind of mileage does a mower get? And how big is the gas tank on a typical residential mower?

If it's capable of 10 mph, then it seems like it could run an hour. But I haven't used a riding lawn mower since about 1985.

LMAO

Awful mileage and a couple gallon.

ROFLROFL

The riding mower only helps RockChalk get to his beat down a little quicker. It runs out of gas before the fighting starts. FMB wins since he's the only one who's armed.

I think the time limit will come into play, right? Rock Chalk should be able to make more distance towards FMB, but neither will likely make contact within 15 minutes.

I think that time limit thing can't apply if you're going to start combatants almost ten miles apart.

Good point. I think maybe the time limit only comes into play if there's not continued progress toward each other.

There is no way the mower will be able to handle the terrain of Easter Island. It is possible it will tip over or get stuck in the sand.

FMB uses one of the stars to open the plastic clamshell to bludgeon RockChalk to death.

Don't even start the mower, take the blades off for makeshift machetes. How hard are riding mower blades to remove?

My first thought was to use the throwing stars to open the clamshell. I have my baton in 30 seconds.

Likely impossible without tools. Better bet would be to run the mower into one of those giant head statues, blades first, and hope the blades break into useful weaponry.

Without tools, probably nearly impossible.