WTF ... The dreaded Sneeze/Shart
 

Holiday inevitably leads to catching a cold from being around all the extra people.

I've been coming down with the sniffles and sneezing a lot.

I'm sitting on the side of my bed and feel the sneeze coming. At this point, sneezing feels good so i let it come.

ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo .... let a huge sneeze fly


I immediately know that something is wrong and clamp the butt cheeks closed.

Dam ... that sneeze/fart sounded and felt way too wet.

Waddle to the toilet and let it go ... nothing but brown water. Not diarrhea ... literally brown water.

Then i look down and see this wet spot on my underwear. ****!!

Then i see the same on my sweat pants. Holy ****!!

I take them off and go back to bedroom to get new clothing and another dam spot on the bed sheets.

What the ****ing hell ... i'm blowing a water spout out of my ass.

:cuss:


am i dying?

I haven't laughed that hard at something on CP in long time. Thank you.

Pics or it didn't happen?!

Wait......nevermind.

Hahahahahahaha....

ah, that is holiday cheer :D


or it could be nerves or you are geting old.

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ROFLROFL

You need "Depends"

LMAO LMAO

You are not dying. Just another affliction that comes with being a Chiefs fan. Good luck.

You have the Cassel virus. It is going around this time of year.

I've never seen so many people this sick all at one time. Everyone in my family is sick....many of my friends status' on Facebook are saying they're sick, everyone at my work is sick, I'm ****in sicker than hell right now. The cold medicine I'm taking right now is making me constipated as hell. Spent nearly 1 hour on the shitter and after grunting and straining only a little shit pellet projectiled out like it was shot out of a AR-15 rifle, splashed some of the piss-filled toilet water up on my ball bag.

:LOL:


I haven't seen that movie.

Thank God you weren't sleeping in the buff or your sheets would have been a Rorschach test and your wife would not have been to happy to clean up that crime scene!

You're not dying, but if you ever have a hic-burp, you will feel like your abdomen is going to split wide open.

But does it burn when you pee or shart?