Cats?

I'm normally late sending Christmas cards, and this year has been no different. I was gonna send you all cards, but being as none of us will be around, I said **** it. Soooo, It's been pretty good sort of knowing some of you in a very odd vague way.

By the way, how far back do they go when figuring out whether or not one goes to heaven or hell? Just curious.

Say BOOM!!!

I've used up all my rep for the next 24 hours! I'm on lock down.

Since your last confession, if you're Catholic. If not, then **** it...who cares?

ROFL You're thinking of the Chinese

Japan is the worlds top consumer of seafood / captain obvious

Weird. I've never met a dolphin that didn't love a good cat meal. Wasn't sure if the Japanese favored them or not.

Only on special occasions

I see. Thanks for laying some Asian knowledge on my ass. Anytime you need tips on dolphins, feel free to ask.

I'm very concerned about this. I'm not catholic, but I wonder if there is some sort of heavenly statute of limitations. I was a pretty rotten kid and pretty mean young adult. I've been a good guy for the last 20 years or so however. I'm just wondering where that gets me.

Um...you should share your knowledge very quickly........just in case....

I think you're OK. The outer rings of hell aren't that bad, if you were to go there. I played the video game 'Dantes Inferno', so I know. There are a few vaginas with legs and some whiney people that seem to be lost, but other than that, it's not much different than the Jazz District after dark. If 20 years of being a good person and doing the best that you can gets you thrown into hell...do you really want to serve the guy that's doing the judging? I say no. He can keep his city of gold, white robes and religious nutjobs. I'll go play beer pong with Jimi Hendrix and Charlie Chaplin.

Yes but, will there be any dolphins there?

There will be dolphins in both heaven and hell. The ones senselessly killed by those in the land of the Orient will be given a free pass...they will receive legs in heaven and be generally viewed as good, solid individuals that contribute meaning and beauty to society. Those dolphins who lived their lives in captivity, feeding the capitalist machine and using their God-given talents and beauty to whore themselves out for a few pieces of fish will be thrown into the lake of fire like the rest of us sinners. It's a well known fact by animal experts, christians and theologists alike that captive dolphins are, in fact, the most loathed creatures of all of the animal kingdom. If God hates...he hates these foul, greedy creatures most of all.

ROFL Thanks for sharing ROFL

No problem. Like I said...I am a dolphin Connaisseur, so it's my pleasure to share my years of research and knowledge with those less informed.

I wounder if their will be squirrels to shoot where I'am going?

That, I can't help you with.

Where you're going, the squirrels shoot you. Sorry man....

Just great! I was worried about that.

welp, nice knowing ya.


well, most of you, anyway :)

Wooohoooohoooo, let's do this!!!

Strongside, tell me more about the vaginas with legs. For example, do they have heads and the ability to nag, like the ones here?

Well, it is hell so, yeah....

I bet they smell the same

I've got a clog in a line out to the septic tank, so my world is really crappy right now. Especially the floor of my shower. If it ends tonight, then it will be an improvement. :banghead:

Is there a cleanout plug on the outside of your house? If so, remove it, if the clog is in the main after the clean out it will get rid of the sewage in the house until your plumber gets there. You'll have a mess outside but it's better than inside

In the video game, they don't. I'm betting this was overlooked by the developers though, because I've never met a vagina that wasn't accompanied by some sort of nagging.

Well, if it wasn't simply an oversight by the video game developers, who, as we all know, work for Satan, And, if the vaginas have legs and nothing else, then heaven and hell are the same. I'm in either way!!!!Yippeeee

Actually, if the vaginas in hell have no heads and DON'T nag...then hell is definitely the way to go. We know for a fact that the ones in heaven will have heads and, lets be honest; have you ever met a devout Christian woman? They're impossible to reason with.

There has to be a catch. Maybe retractible peni used to rape, perpetual period, smell bad enough to gag maggots or some other horrible thing that would prevent you from enjoying.

I don't think so. The lines run underground out to the septic tank, and only the pipe on the top of that is visible out in the yard. Well, it is now that I shoveled snow away from it.

Ok, I'm not what the code is there but, here you have to have a cleanout within 18" of the home and level with the grade so they can be easily found for just such emergencies.

rep plz. and can a mod give me permission to start a thread, ive got an important question.

Bob Dole handles all questions. PM him several times just to make sure he gets it

This guy needs rep, guys. He's gotten tons of it before...but none of it was good.

We still have 13 hours central time left!! I recommend you all do as I did and convince your wife that you need to go out with a bang.

End of the world BJ?

I blame Hunt, Pioli and cASSHOLE..

just in case I don't a chance to later tonight when we all Die; I love you all.

:clap: if not I don't see hell being that bad at all

5:11 AM Central tomorrow is when shit will get real mother****ers!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mexico time.

What time zone were the Mayans in?


I MUST KNOW!

:facepalm:

I just went full BarrysKoolaid. Thanks.

At 5:10:59am Clark will have a press conference to confirm Pioli and Crennel's termination.

At 5:11am we get hit by massive gamma ray radiation.

The world isn't ending lol

Don't tell the horny blonde down the hall that :)

Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!











It's dark and we have a clear sky outside tonight and it is going to be about -6 degrees tonight.

So is it a good idea to tell people you love/like that you love/like them as long as they aren't married since tomorrow is the end?

Knock yourself out chief. Maybe you'll get lucky.

Let's all get drunk and screw...

Power just went out here (posting from cell phone). I'm survivng on potato chips, pistachios, and oatmeal cookies by candle light. So far no zombies sighted.

Watch your cornhole... Those anal probes use no lube... So I have read on the internet...

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So, when is the end of the world exactly? GMT? CST?

I would like to sit at my window at work and watch it happen.

of course, if it is GMT it already happened. Welcome to the afterlife.

What is the H2 channel going to show after tonight?

better yet what time in what time zone?

ahhh, 5:11am . Thanks

Aliens.

so we all turn into a bunch of hulks?

i'm okay with that.

You aren't already?!

End of the world martinis. Worst case scenario bad hangover tomorrow. I should be long asleep by the time a giant asteroid hits me in the butthole at 5 in the morning if that's what's going to happen.

we are all gonna die in a few hours

Archaeologists digging near Mexico's Sonora desert have discovered what appears to be the burial ground of an early Mesoamerican society, including signs of deformed skulls.

According to a story at Past Horizons Archaeology,

The burial ground consists of 25 individuals; 13 have intentional cranial deformation and five also have dental mutilation, cultural practices which are similar to those of pre-Hispanic groups in southern Sinaloa and northern Nayarit, but until now, have not been seen in Sonora.... Archaeologist Cristina Garcia Moreno, director of the research project...said that, "Cranial deformation in Mesoamerican cultures was used to differentiate one social group from another and for ritual purposes, while the dental mutilation in cultures such as the Nayarit was seen as a rite of passage into adolescence. This is confirmed by the findings at the Sonora cemetery where the five bodies with dental mutilation are all over 12 years in age."

The main significance to archaeologists is that the discovery suggests the presence (or influence) of Mesoamerican societies much farther north than previously believed.


Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/science/2012/...#ixzz2FeA6yRB8



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:)

The world is burning up around me here in Australia.

you are on the hot seat :D

Its the 21st here in Aus. No zombies as of yet. Will keep yall posted!

(still posting from cell phone, down to 51% power) We went out to forage for food power lines down everywhere. A car full of zombies lost a wheel and it collided with our vehicle. It was a trap to get me to come out of my car. I barely escaped with my life. Luckily we found a chik-fil-a open so the cats are safe for now. We sit in cold darkness listening to the wind howl and forbode the end.

Rep just in case shit

Light a candle for the sinners, set the world on FIRE!!!

didja check the basement. how about the garage or the woods behind the house:D

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When is this thing going to happen? I feel as though I should be doing something special before the apocalypse. Instead, I'm posting on CP. FML :facepalm:

Meh. I should just go to bed and sleep off this horrible day. Being well rested would be a wise idea anyway so I can kill zombies or giant, mutant zucchini warriors.

Best of luck to us all.