Allow me to reintroduce myself...
 

Hey, everybody! I tried to find a thread for noobs to introduce themselves, but to no avail. So I decided to make one, just for me! Sorry!

My name is Doug but you can call me carcosa because I created this account when True Detective was still on. If I were joining the site today, I'd probably be called The Guilty Remnant or some shit.

Anyway, I signed up for an account a few months ago after being an occasional lurker for quite a while. I made several unremarkable posts before getting super busy with real life stuff over the summer. Now that the Chiefs season is almost upon us, I've decided to rededicate myself to making many, many more unremarkable posts, starting today!

A few things you should know about me:

• I've been a Chiefs fan since before I can remember. In fact, one of my earliest memories is of 6-year-old me crying and cursing a certain kicker's name. I was hoping he'd be in Hell by now but according to Wikipedia he's an investment manager with Texas Farm Bureau in Waco, Texas. Close enough, I guess.
• After the playoff loss to the Broncos in 1998, I tore off my Chiefs shirt, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it. I tearfully swore that I'd never root for the Chiefs again. 16 years later, I'm not only still rooting for them, I'm paying for Sunday Ticket just so I can watch them continue to disappoint me, like some kind of goddamn masochist.
• Come to think of it, most of my traumatic childhood memories involve Chiefs playoff losses. Guess that means I had it pretty good, huh!
• All that negative rep you see under my screen name comes from my ill-fated attempt at humor in this thread. I promise I'm not as trollish as all those red boxes would seem to indicate!
• I'm a KU fan and graduate, which in my estimation means about 60% of you hate me already. I'm okay with that! If I hadn't been a student there during their National Championship win in 2008, I'd have literally no idea what winning feels like.
• I think the Chiefs still have a shot at making the playoffs this year because I'm a ****ing idiot.

Looking forward to following another doomed season with you guys. If you have any advice or insults for me, fire away!

I hope you get AIDS from Michael Sam

Self-awareness is important.

Welcome.

Interesting!

I already don't like this guy. Ban?

Waco, Texas is not hell. Screw you, dude. Thats where Dr. Pepper was invented.

...and welcome to the board.

Oh, shit. Good point. Dr Pepper is bar none my favorite soft drink. Maybe it can only be so good because it was created by the devil, though???

Don't be fooled. It's actually Lin Elliot.

Unfortunately you didn't refer to our FAQ before making this thread. Taking the Lord's name in vein is strictly prohibited, and results in an instant, permanent ban. We wish you success with your future board!

ROFL

Well that escalated quickly.gif

Whoops!

Wait, how did you know "The lord's name" is what I call heroin???

My ex loved Dr. Pepper and now he's dead.

There will be no shooting up of the Lord's name on Chiefs Planet.

You sound like a really boring person.

Congrats.