Online flirting
 

Is online flirting, when you know your S.O. disapproves, OK because you "are only flirting online and not in the real world"?

My opinion (surprise, surprise) is that it's not OK, period. It's said to be OK because it's not face-to-face, and online it's just fun and games.

I call bullshit. People meet online friends in person all the time. They even meet their future spouses online. The "it's only online" argument is bogus.

I would also imagine that many of those who feel it's OK would be less than eager to have their own S.O.s discover their activity.

Thoughts?

Was there an orgasm?

I would never do such a thing. But I'll bet Rainman would.

I had to put Gaz on ignore because of this. All those Hugs and Kisses at the end of each message really made me uncomfortable.

I think he's harmless. I would only worry if he offers you a Tequila Rose in a glass that you didn't watch him pour.

I think when someone goes behind a SO's back and flirts online, it's easier to shrug it off as "innocent". Is it right? Probably not. But this sounds like it's more of a problem with communication between the two spouses. Personally, I probably wouldn't be comfortable with it.

The question is, is it a regular occurance with this SO?

I would say if the SO is open about it, and doesn't try to hide it, it's all innocent fun.

If they go out of their way to hide it, it's wrong.

Did Oprah steal Clint's log-in?

I mean, really, he just started a thread about on-line flirting.

--Infidel Goat

Dear Lord.

I don't even care if my man flirts with the waitress bringing our beer. Much less some lonely girl on the internet.

My thoughts exactly.

If he follows it up with a "Good books to read" thread you might be onto something.

Keep in mind that "flirting" can cover an awful lot of territory...especially online. I'm not just talking about a giggle or a wink.

Of course, some people feel nothing is wrong until bodily fluids are exchanged.

I only participate in football message boards and poker sites. I always assume its a dude on the other end, unless I know better.

I made a rule with my wife before we hitched that when I wasn't around, she should simply ask herself.."If Iowanian were watching or listening right now, would he be pissed off?" If the answer is yes, don't do it.

I do my best to follow the same rule.

I think my limit would be the following.
1. Would she care if I were reading it(or would I care if she read my posts)
2. Is it in the public forum?
If it were in Email or PM form....Heads would roll for sure.

I trust my bride and she has no reason not to trust me, so its not a problem.

But I'm an asshole.

As long as thy dont perfect the technology so as to get cyber-spew on my wife's face, I'm ok with it. That said, I generally keep my wife locked up in a dungeon...................

Does 'flirting' also include unwarranted positive 'rep'?

I really need a ruling on this one.

IMO that's the first and best question to figuring out if you've gone too far.

I concur, word-for-word.

Eh. It's nothing against how anyone else feels. I adore Iowanni and I think his philosophy is nuts too. But since I don't get to date him, I'll just have to accept that it works for his relationship.

There are more than a couple flirty PMs in my box. But I wouldn't hide a damn one of them from my guy.

That all depends on the message that accompanies the rep.

If the rep was only sent so as to type out a "secret message" to the recpient, then you may have flirting going on!

Asshole? No. You aren't an Asshole. You are just insecure and don't like yourself. You wish you were an Asshole.

Clint,

Insecurity is unattractive, just thought you would like to know. The level of attraction your women feels for you is what makes her want to stay with you. How does it feel going through life with a big red insecurity button on your chest that everyone knows is there and can push to make you go off anytime they want? What's even more ridiculous is were talking about a guy who's woman brings other women home to him.

So why are you always flirting with Chiefs4me then?

What have I done wrong now!?!


I proclaim my innocence!!

Lets clarify something specifically.
I'm very confident in my relationship and the job I do at home. I have no reason to be jealous of anything my wife does. Initially, I didn't like it that she was still friendly with a former long term boyfriend, but once I met the guy, I could care less if they talk on the phone twice a year, or if she wants to have a drink with him and other friends at their class reunion that I hope to dodge again.

For the most part....I'm the one dinking around online, and if she is, its asking other hens about home remedies for infant constipation.

Under other circumstances, with another woman, with other morals and scruples than the one I chose to be with.....my story might go a little different.

I trust her, and I'd let her read anything here or in my email she wanted. She doesn't ask, because she trusts me, but she could.

What makes you so sure I posted this for personal reasons?

As for the last sentence, don't believe everything you read.

I think I would be angry about that. The question to me isn't, "is there anything wrong with it", it's "why do you feel the need to do that...?"

kinda like feeding jabba the hut?

She opens the door and lets the unsuspecting woman in, flicks on the lights, gives her a push, and shuts the door.

the screams echo through the halls of the housing project, then are silenced...

I think at some point it goes over the line, but I'd have a hard time defining where that is any better than Iowanian's if-my-SO-reads-it-will-he/she-care rule, so I'll go with that. The specific answer to the question you really want to ask is "hell yes it's wrong and you should give R&F a severe spanking when she gets home tonight." ;)

The Line.
 

I think there are different levels.

"hey fine thing, your type'n is teh sexaaaaaaah.....what do you think Pitt is going to do to stop the Denver Roll out?"...is fine with me.

out in the open, with a little comment here or there isn't any big deal to me, but an email with personal info or a detailed blow by blow of what you're gonna do? Yeah.

If I send some broad a PM telling her that I'd like to speed read the chinese alphabet in tongue-brail on her pearl, my wife should be pissed at me.

I'm still not convinced that "Mer" isn't just the handle Endelt posts under when he's got his junk tucked and the lipstick on.

What makes flirting fun, at least to guys, is the fact that EVERY ONE OF THEM has a little part of their brain that's telling them "they just might get some someday".

Don't deny it; to say otherwise is pure BS.

I think Mr. Iowanian's approach is correct.

There is a distinction between "innocent" flirtation and something more serious.

But, if your SO gets you PO'd you can always KO the SO. That usually solves the problem.

FAX

Kick that bitch to the curb!

No seriously, if you're uncomfortable with it then it shouldn't be going on. That's marraige man.
She should respect your feelings enough not to do that type of shit. It goes both ways as well.

I'm fairly sure it's pretty fun to watch men puff up with self importance just because you were able to string 3 words together that inflated his ego.

We don't need flirting on the internet for the dream of getting laid. Every guy on the street is a potential dream.

I do need Iowanni to blow me tho.

ah skip, you have been out of the loop to long...killer calling me slut is NOT flirting old man......ROFL

Whatever works for you.

My earlier reply was referring to men in particular.

Every man who's ever flirted with you, whether it was the mailman or a creepy first cousin, has wanted to have sex with you. I don't care what they say, it doesn't matter.


Where men are concerned: Flirting = desire for sex.


No exceptions.

You can flirt online?

You can't bullshit me.

The fact that you found a cute little angle doesn't change what's going on between your ears.

Any time a guy talks to me at all that's what he's thinking.

I'm new but this intrigued me.

I think flirting on a bulletin board is just words unless pictures, emails and phone calls are involved.

I haven't seen any pictures so I'd guess it's just words being exchanged.

I do know, from experience, that trust is like a soap bubble, once broken it cannot be replaced.

I would take exception to this, once a guy gets past say 50, he could be trying to row his boat with a piece of rope. If you have a desire for sex but cannot do the deed, is it still cheating?

Funny. All it takes is an empty cup and a smile to get you to brave the artic cold to reach the kegger for me.

Get off the Internet and go back to work.

I'm flirting here.

Random blowjob offers to a strange man?

Sounds pretty slutty to me.

Some people perceive things wrong. Someone can be nice to someone, and that person will think they are being flirted with. Some people, it's just their personalities, and they don't even realize they're doing it. Some people are completely different people when they are online. You can say things that you normally wouldn't say because you're not face to face. I would say that it also depends on the intent. You can flirt with someone knowing fully well that you have no plans of meeting them in person.

Hey, sweetheart. Are you happy to see me, or did you just pee your pants a little bit?

All for you, baby.

Yeah, I figured out that "You don't want to dance? Well, how about a blowjob then?" didn't work by the end of my Junior year in college...

Have you been a BAAAAADDDDD girl, Luv? I mean, REALLY baaaaaddddd.....

Reminds me of the old days in AOL chatrooms.

Guess that means I need a spanking, huh?

Clint, please it's me your talking to.

As for the last line I feel for you if that's not the case. I thought your last B-day present came in panties. I also was led to believe your wife was bisexual. Being a guy who has never had a girlfriend who was not bisexual I understood a long time ago that women like that have a fairly large libido. With that comes flirtation mainly with women but sometimes with guys as well. She knows where the line is when it comes to men. If your wife is indeed bisexual though this sex drive is not going to go away anytime soon. I guess you have to choose how you want to live your life moving forward knowing this. Embracing it with an honest understanding of where those boundries lie is the key to having a good long term relationship with a bisexual woman IMO. Bisexual women usually leave their man for one reason more than any other, jealousy.

No, it doesn't.

ROFL

Alright, who's Red been talking too?

An argument isn't just contradiction. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition. Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.

The correct response would have been, "Yes, it does", to which I would have responded, "No, it doesn't", etc., etc....

I thought for sure you would have caught the Monty Python reference.

No it isn't.


See, BL got it...

I can't argue with you until you've paid!

If he's sending you frisky PMs heads are going to roll.

What?

Plenty of exceptions. Fat women, ugly women, your buddies SO! You can flirt with someone with no intentions of sleeping with them, I would say that happens more often than not.

Maybe if you're trying to sell them a car.

Other than that, BS.

waitresses flirt all the time to get tips.

they don't really want sex.



and they aren't too happy when you wait outside for them all night...sitting in their car...in the backseat...with a knife.

Clint your wife flirts, do you honestly believe she wants to screw everyone she flirts with? I believe lots of women just do it for ego or to see how far they can push you.

When you flirt do you want to sleep with them?

My wife has a problem with me flirting online and looking at pictures of very scantly clad/naked ladys. I simply tell her if she would put out more, instead of flirting with people and looking at pictures on a damn computer id be screwing her and looking at her naked in real life. She gets mad at first but it works!

I didn't think there was much you wouldn't do for beer.

Since when is Delt married?

maybe it's because you're on here every other week complaining about people flirting with your wife ....

or your wife flirting with someone else....

or somebody having thoughts of flirting with your wife ...

or there being a picture somewhere around here that someone might have impure thoughts about...

Know the feeling, I just had two of those this past week....

Clint,

Did you read my last post?

:D

I only complain about it when it becomes inappropriate IMO.

Yes, and while I don't disagree, you're barking up the wrong tree.

How so? So what your saying Red is lying to me and she is not bi?

No, I'm saying her sexuality is not related to the topic at hand.

My g/f just gives me shitty looks.

She knows I'm not going to cheat on her and so do I.

Of course it is. You post a subject everyone knows is personal and keep it from being so even though it involves members of the board. Then you want to speak in vague generalities.

1. It isn't appropriate (what isn't appropriate? What's going over the line?)
2. Her sexuality doesn't matter (of course it does flirting is all about sexuality)
3. Your barking up the wrong tree. (how so?)
4. Men just want to **** women that flirt with them (Funny I thought men just want to **** all good looking women I didn't know flirtation was a prerequesite.

If you have a good looking women it comes down to a matter of trust as multiple guys are trying to hit that every day. Other than that it is kind of hard to seriously address you when you keep hiding under the covers trying not to expose yourself on the subject.

My original post just asked for the others' opinions on online flirting.

I don't know why any of my personal information would be relevant.

Because it's the only thing that is relevant and is why you posted this thread and everybody knows it. You want to make it a non-personal issue to feel more comfortable OK. Bottom line is the woman who has a man upset because she flirts online owns him and she knows it. The problem isn't the computer or the guys online either. The problem comes down to being owned and the women becoming board with her relationship because of it. The chase is over she already has his papers. Where is the excitement there? Many guys don't know this but ask a woman and if she is honest will tell you this is the absolute truth. In a relationship it is the womans job to take control of the relationship and it is the mans job to make sure that never takes place. The reason for this is if she ever takes control and he lets her she loses attraction BIG TIME. Women want what they can't have or a least something that still remains a challenge. She may still stay in the relationship but it's not a relationship worth having IMO. The question isn't whether you personally think it is right or wrong. The question is what are you going to do about it? Bitching to all your buddies on the BB she posts on isn't going to do it rest assured. That is a total wussy move and if there is anything in the world more unattractive to a woman than being a wussyman I don't know what it is. Maybe some guy that smells funny or something. I could tell you what to do but you probably wouldn't listen, you never have before.