Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock
 

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news...44/detail.html

ROFL

Man Could Not Remove Lock For Two Weeks

POSTED: 2:02 pm MDT August 5, 2005
UPDATED: 2:15 pm MDT August 5, 2005

BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.

The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.

The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.

Motive??

Um...your honor I had this padlock, and um...this guy was passed out....and uhhh, I thought I could get it to close on his balls.

I wonder if it cut off the circulation at all. That would leave him with blueballs.

With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Franks and Beans.

Paybacks are gonna be hell

Whenever I meet a potential new friend, I make it pretty clear that if I pass out, they are not to bother my testicles. So far, everyone has honored that.

To me, the funniest part of this is that the guy 'walked' around for two weeks with a padlock around his nuts. What, was he hoping that they'd loosen up or something?

Also, any bets that the 'friend' was a female/girlfriend?

If someone did this to me, I would seriously jerk off in his beverage of choice.

due to the fact that balls typically retract a bit before the deed, that would be a definite after.

also I don't know how well you'd be able jingle your jimmy with a lock on there. The consequences would be disasterous!

perhaps I've said too much :hmmm:

Padlock on the balls, eh? Is that what they call marriage nowadays?

I know the padlock would be bad... but that hacksaw down there...Whew...

WE GOT A BLEEDER!!

wow, what a friend. I wouldn't know what to think about that.....His "friend" had to touch his balls to get the padlock on, meaning his friend wanted to feel up his balls, or he just wanted to do an evil joke. Either way, I'd kick the $hit out of him

ROFL