How did you handle bad restaurant service?
 

I came across this anecdote on a blog:

My senior year we had dinner at Ambrosia, a Very High End 4 star resturant on Balboa, near the bridge to Lido. Dressed to the 9's. The service was AWFUL. We were put right next to the kitchen door, which actually banged into my date's chair each time it opened. We didn't buy any wine (drinking age in CA was 21) but were charged $20 for it ANYWAY, because it was "policy."

After I paid the check I asked the waiter to bring over the captain and matre'de. I told them that for a meal like that (nearly $100 in pre-inflation money) I'd expect to leave a $20 tip. The service had been horrid and I would not leave a tip, but I didn't want them to believe it was because I was a cheap teenage that they could treat like crap. So I folded a $20 and put it in the ashtray and set it on fire.

I thought the matre'de was going to have a stroke. 6 months later they were closed.

http://www.captainsquartersblog.com/...ves/005618.php

I thought that was terrific. ROFL

Anybody else have a good story like that? (I don't.)

I MURDERED THEM ALL BECAUSE OF THE VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES I PLAYED

I pulled my pecker out once.

I've never done that and I wouldn't. But once upon a time we had a really bad experience at a Japanese Steakhouse/Sushi bar. The sushi was excellent and the only thing that was positive about the entire night. When I asked for the manager to resolve the issue I was offered 10% off our meal. This enraged me, so I informed them that I would be paying $20 for the portions of the meal that were acceptable and to show that it wasn't about me being cheap, I tipped the sushi chef the balance.

call 911 for help

spit on their tip.

Last bad experience I had was at a steakhouse. It was normal Saturday night busy so I wasn't expecting to be waited on hand and foot. We got drinks at the bar and took them with us to the table. We were basically ignored for about 20 minutes as other tables were seated and began to be served drinks, appetizers and salads. I stopped someone who told they would go get our server, which is a big mistake. Saw the server a few minutes later who took our food order and said she'd refill our drinks. Didn't see her for about 20 minutes, in fact, we never saw her again. Got up and left and will never go back to that place again. I tell everyone I know not to go there as well. Should've said something to the manager but I was too disgusted and just wanted out of the place. I think my brother said something to the hostess but we didn't wait around to hear from the manager. I wouldn't have taken a free meal from them if they had offered to deliver it.

....and assured them you were NOT going to leave a tip, right?

You wouldn't happen to have been at the place up by the racetrack with the big damn buffalo in front of it would you? That place was slow and expensive but at least the food was average. They basically screwed up every portion of the entire meal at a snail's pace. The ending involved us ordering two ice cream sundaes, one without the alcoholic topping for my 4 and 1 year old kids. After a 10 minute wait (for a desert) they finally bring them out, both with the sauce. I send one back and it takes another 10 minutes to get it back.

So the waitress asks how everything was, and since I wasn't getting any more food or drinks I told her the place sucked all around. She goes to get the manager, which takes another 10 minutes. By this time we've been there for nearly two hours. My wife is taking the kids to the car when the manager finally comes over and offers me a $5 off coupon for our next meal there. So I asked her if she could wait there (front lobby) for a minute while I went to ask my wife. She was still standing in the lobby when I drove past the front of the place. I didn't take the coupon because I won't be going back.

I like to spit in their food...

I went to the men's room & wiped my ass with a $20 & left it.

You could actually spin that positively.

"How was your dessert?"

"It tasted like the spit of an angel."

Worked in way too many bar settings to do anything except smile nicely, and say thank you.

If I'm going to get worked up, it'll be a harangue on my way out the door. Won't risk eating there again.

I come back a second time with a big bag of crickets from the pet store.

Nothing clears and kills out a eatery faster than 20,000 bugs crawling and jumping all over the place.

No, I've never done that. Have thought about it though. It would be funny as hell seeing the mass exodus of those that didn't have a chance to pay their bill.

Fear of getting some "special sauce" in your food?