How a woman troubleshoots a problem
 

1. Recognize that something isn't the way you thought it should be. You may be completely oblivious to small matters like it's never worked that way and it makes no sense for it to work that way. All that is important is that you want it to work that way now.

2. Determine what the most drastic root cause could possibly be for this symptom.

3. Come up with a horror story about #2.

4. Convince yourself that #2 & #3 are happening.

5. Yell for your husband/significant other.

6. Tell them #2 is happening and that it's probably leading to #3.

7. After he returns, winded, to tell you that in fact neither of those are happening and grills you over what the actual problem is, admit the real symptom. Make your speech as cryptic as possible.

8. As he takes simple corrective measures be sure to point out how none of this is your fault and how he could have avoided it all along.

Example:

You get in the shower and turn it on. The water pressure seems low. Rather than checking the valve on the nozzle which regulates pressure, yell loud enough to get your husband out of bed. When he arrives, tell him "There must be a leak {#2} and the basement is probably flooding {#3}". Once he returns from the basement and begins to question you, admit to the actual symptom. Make plenty of excuses about why you were in the right as he reaches up and opens the valve on the nozzle.

Extra Credit
You should "stack" these "problems" whenever possible to make it even more confusing for your male. For instance:

Call him to tell him the Internet is down {#2}. This will be particularly bad since part of his income is derived from the servers hosted on that connection. In this case he will arrive at #3 himself, so pointing it out isn't needed. When he returns from checking up on the entire network admit that your real problem was getting to a website to look up medical information about one of his children. After going through the full process over the health of his child, admit you were trying to take medical advice from some personal website, preferably hosted at anglefire or geocities and were unable to pull the site up.

What'd ye'r wife just get y'all riled up....simplex3?
Just call her complex3.

I see you have the "speak cryptically" part down.

As I've tried to point out in a couple of other threads, women are simple minded little fools. The sooner you learn this the better things will go for you.

ROFL

Still not getting any?

Men make everything so complicated.

It goes...

what the ****?
how the ****?
should i ****?
where the ****?

So simplex is a woman....things are going better for me now.
ROFL

Anything that happens to the car....

The problem is the same as what happened last time when the car didn't work.

Even if the symptoms and root cause are different.

Did you ever think she was just ****ing with you!?!

Hell, if I am out of bed and unable to sleep so is everyone else!!

ROFL

I can think of other ways she could keep me awake, though.

You lost me there. Cars have problems other than "It just quit running"?

I have learned this lesson at an early age

Her problem = Your Problem

They always bring up what happened last time, even if what is going on with the car is totally unrelated.
Example:

1993 Honda civic 'loses' raidator fluid, not leaking into the engine/tranny not on the garage floor....

Where is it going????
Later

Car won't start.... but turns over... battery is fine.....

Her Comment, 'maybe raidator is out of water' since it loses water.
Grasping for straws.

Unrelated problems with no common root problem.



Any guess where the raidiator water went slowly over time????

Out the raidator cap's rubber seal.

We may be simple minded fools, but we're not simple enough for men to figure out. Hmmm....