How to get rid of your girlfriend. For those needing help, guaranteed results!
 

I call bulls**t. That's the one place he still DOES love her.

"We're not fucking. Why are you here?"

That worked for me. :)

Sleep with her sister.

Just kick her in the taco, duh...


Oh wait, sorry... Beat me to it.

Supercool Antifreeze to make an antifreezecicle and stab her in the face with it. :shrug:

This works - Get over here, bitch, this dick isn't going to suck itself.

...and if she obeys then you don't want her gone anyway.

Well, beating her is always a start. I find using the back of my hand is a pretty classy way to do it. You don't hit a chick with a closed fist, it's just not gentlemanlike.

i find that works best

Ask her if she prefers Jelly Or Syrup..

or conversely....


tell her you prefer Syrup

and I got a lot of shit for breaking up with a chick via text message

why do you have to breakup with her? I find if you just stop answering their calls or the door when they come over, eventually they will move on, and then if you do get drunk and horny you can always drunk dial them and they'll be so intrigued you even bothered to contact them they'll cave for ya

Nice. No uncomfortable conversation. No tears. Just a message saying to leave you the **** alone.

Just tell her, your mom has better pussy....