Eli Whitney
 

discuss.....

i wish my mudder drinked less cotton gin wen she was pregers with me.

hes got a chicks last name.

His stand up comedy was never the same after he broke up the act with Leon Pratt.

Eli's comin' hide your cotton.

FAX

Necessity is the mother of invention.

He was an asshole through and through. I loved that bastard.

Look away, Dixie. Eli's fixin to make the carpetbaggers spin you another yarn.

He stood 10ft tall and used a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Well, he wasn't too smart then, was he? A snake wouldn't work as a condom - there's a hole at both ends.

He should have just gone to the Chargers instead of pulling an Elway.

Oddly enough, his invention was an indirect, contributing cause of the Civil War.

The cotton gin greatly increased our ability to process cotton, which increased the need to pick more of it, which increased the demand for slaves. What had been a very slowly dying institution suddenly became revitalized and more "needed" in the eyes of the Southern plantation owners.

When them cotton bolls get rotten you can't pick very much cotton

Like he cares.

His sperm was too big to get out either end anyway.

ROFL that's good....ROFL