Hypothetical: Wormholes and You.
 

Hypothetical situation:

You are driving in a remote mountainous region in northern New Mexico. The stars are out in force, a mosaic of diamonds against the pitch black night. A cool wind blows over the top of your Ford Pinto, its speedometer ticking up past the 60 mark on the downhill stretches. You're listening to Air Supply on the radio, singing loudly to "Lost in Love", when you see it.

Four lights, hanging motionless above the forest. The space behind them is blacker than the night, a large mass ominously concealing the stars.

You pull the Pinto to a stop, mesmerized by the sight. You watch the ship. It watches you. You realize that your life will never be the same.

Suddenly you are snapped back to reality. A branch snaps in the forest next to the car. Another branch. A large figure, half ape, half man, and half giant, furry with large feet, steps from the forest into the headlights of your car. Your eyes lock with his for an eternal moment, and then the giant creature crosses the road with enormous, deliberate strides.

Above you, a fifth light appears on the ship, then a flash of light and it accelerates upward at an astonishing speed, silent as the New Mexico night.

Shaken, you drive the Pinto another few miles, where an ancient, dirty gas station illuminates a tiny settlement of mobile homes and decrepit shotgun shacks. You guide the Pinto to the gas pump and shakily get out of the car.

The gas station clerk is a smallish man with pale white skin, slicked back hair, and one long incisor that is visible even when his mouth is closed. You ask for the key to the bathroom, and he silently hands it to you.

You go to the bathroom and splash some cold water on your face. Maybe it was all a hallucination, you think, the result of those long hours in the rebirthing pool at the spa in Santa Fe. Maybe it was swamp gas and a big raccoon. Maybe it was...

You press the soap dispenser, not realizing that it is in actuality the on/off switch to a universe-shifting wormhole generator with a bad zywocky gasket, and in all honesty the gas station really should have had an out-of-order sign on it.

BZZZZORRRRRT.

A huge purple cloud appears in front of you, and not the type of huge purple cloud that occurs in bathrooms after you eat too many blue corn chips and salsa. This one undulates and changes colors like a chameleon with a social anxiety disorder, and an increasing gravity well sucks you toward it with an intensity you haven't felt since that cheerleader with self-esteem issues and a controlling father back in high school.

Due to the bad zywocky gasket, the wormhole can send you to a number of different destinations, and you have no control over it. Among the possible destinations (see upcoming poll), where would you most like to end up?

Poll coming.

Repost, just cleverly disguised. ??

*If you had to move to another country* thread ??

A woman's vagina.

Completely unrealistic. I would never get into a Ford Pinto.

I agree.

alien probe
jurassic
1 million years from now
orgy lovers
ancient rome

Curiously enough, those form the sentence:

One million years from now, Jurassic orgy lovers alien probe ancient rome.

I picked France during the Ice Age because I like those Lascaux cave drawings.

Northern New Mexico is great but I've never seen no giant, furry things with large feet when I've visited.

My hometown, 3 years ago.

With the knowledge of the next three years to come you would have the power of a god. Knowing exactly what's to come would allow you to turn $3 into $3 million.

You could prevent deaths, change lives, correct mistakes...

I chose one from every category.

From the spaceship I chose the exploring ship. Because Red Dwarf was a cool show.

In the alternate universe, I chose the 90 percent world population being wiped out thing because I often imagine what life would be like without so many goddamn people on this planet.

Other planet- How can you not choose the intergalactic congress? I'd be doing what pretty much no human has done before- rule the world.

Future- I chose hometown 100 years from now because something tells me we're not going to be around for that much longer in 1000 or so years.

Past- American Revolution, baby. Just imagine, going around telling people that we're going to win this thing just when it looks bleakest for the Americans.

Being a representative for earth would be hard to pass up.
I just wonder if it would be a corrupt Intergalactic Senate.

They usually kill the messenger though.

I've always contemplated this one...I just can't get past the whole
lack of running water thing.I mean meeting the founding fathers might be cool.
Convincing Arnold not to give up the defenses of West Point might be interesting.But,I know my ass isn't going to spend one minute in an outhouse during a Valley Forge winter.