nft-HS parental advice
 

so I take my rising 10th grade daughter to HS last night for class orientation and to meet the instructors. She is in a selected group of the Chorus, which placed first in the nation at Carnegie Hall last year. Met the Director last night, and frankly he gives me the creeps. 30-ish, decent looking dude, and he was dressed out in gym shorts as he helps coach the JV soccer team. From last year, I observed that he's a very demanding & temperamental Director, but I guess that goes with the territory if you're going to be a "player" nationally. He seems to cultivate that kind of strangely close teacher-student dynamic that you often see with high-achieving coaches. I wouldn't classify my daughter as stunning, but she certainly lives in the neighborhood. His first comment to her as we approached last night was "I like the hair". Don't want to be "that father", but the warning bells & whistles are going off. Talk to me...

Pics?

Dude, you shouldnt ask someone pics of his underage daughter...

Well Friendo, Is he just that way with her or other students (female)? He could be just trying to bond with them to earn trust that he is going to lead them in the right direction?

Most of the Choir directors I had in HS were gay. Maybe he's a "hair guy" ;)

Shave your daughter's head and make her wear an "Amy Winehouse" wig until she is 35. Problem solved.

That's creepy. Why do you want to see pics of a 15-16 year old. :shake:

I wouldn't worry unless you see him breaking some of the main codes: being alone with students, unnecessarily hugging...I'd also pay attention to her facebook or myspace and make sure he isn't on one of those and if he is, pay close attention to his interchanges with people. It's easier on myspace because you don't have to ask to be "friends" to see their profile...but there is a lot of inappropriateness, imo, between students and teachers on those sites and by inappropriate, I don't even mean sex stuff, I just mean that some teachers shouldn't be "friends" or "buddies" with students, but should have some boundaries.

I haven't been around the program long enough to really know. One of her best friends is in this group also, and we are good friends with the Mom who btw is a counselor in the district. I do plan to bounce my concerns off her.

That's a tough one. You don't want to jump to conclusions but at the same time I don't think you should ignore your instincts either. Maybe you or mom should have a talk with your daughter. Not necessarily about that teacher, just about being a little cautious around adult males. Not distrustful, just cautious.

good stuff Jilly!

that's what I was thinking too-it's easy for her to be "star-struck" and I'm not at all sure I didn't recognize a little of that-thanks!

I'm 23...

When I was in high school, everyone had some serious suspicions our varsity basketball coach was fooling around with several students...

It was always more of a joke because we knew there was no way he could actually be sleeping with these high school girls considering he was mid 30's, had a wife and a newborn...he was an attractive, cocky guy but no way...

Wrong.

He got busted in the country with an 18 year old chick who he had been sleeping with for over a year...

Turned out he had sex with 6, 7 high school girls and 3 or 4 teachers...

Needless to say he doesn't have his teaching certificate anymore and he skipped town...but you'd be amazed. If you see the signs, watch out...because the girl that the coach got caught with never lived it down and eventually left town, too.

Isn't that 16 year old Shawn Johnson in your avatar? ROFL

Friendo, I don't have kids, but I would tell you that you are not pulling this out of left field. It is a pretty valid concern. I'd watch it closely if I were you. A lot of people I work with have expressed similar concerns.
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