National Shoving Day
 

I think this country needs a new holiday, and I therefore decree the last Monday of October to be National Shoving Day.

On this day, you will never change your course when walking to avoid another person. Instead, as you and the other person are about to meet, just give them a healthy shove toward the left.

This will apply only to pedestrian activity, of course, not driving or flying or motorcycles. (Biking may be considered for future inclusion.)

The goals of National Shoving Day are to:

a) Add efficiency to our national pedestrian travels by allowing everyone to take the shortest routes to their destinations.

b) Provide some added physical exercise to Americans' daily routines.

c) Add the fun of bumper cars to our daily lives, if only for one day per year.

d) Teach a little something to those annoying people who don't change their path when you're on a collision course because they're talking to someone or they just think they're important, and so you have to dodge them at the last minute by twisting your body even though you're the guy who obviously has the rights to that part of the sidewalk since the stupid women are walking four abreast so they can chatter with each other instead of taking only the right half of the sidewalk, or the stupid guy is walking real fast and thinks he can cross the sidewalk right in front of you without looking just because he's walking fast.

e) As an added benefit, every seven years National Shoving Day will fall on Halloween, and therefore teach children a little more respect for their larger elders, and perhaps some awareness so they don't grow up to be the people in Item d above.

I guess you missed this Holiday:

Mo. sixth-graders face discipline for 'Hit a Jew Day'
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Several sixth-graders from suburban St. Louis are being disciplined for creating "Hit a Jew Day" and then hitting Jewish classmates.

Four or five students at Parkway West Middle School in Chesterfield could be suspended and undergo counseling for last week's incident, school officials told the Associated Press. Others who taunted Jewish students or encouraged others to participate face lesser punishment.

Officials said fewer than 10 of the school's 35 Jewish students were hit. One was slapped in the face and the others were hit mostly on the back of their shoulders.

"There is a mix of sadness and outrage," said district spokesman Paul Tandy. "The concern is a lot of kids knew about it and they didn't take action or say anything."

i agree...lets all get out there today and shove it.
sec

I think they already observe this during the week of Pushover.

This is celebrated daily in Chicago.

or NYC... People in real big cities don't have time for inconsiderate ignorant ****s. nothing personal, quit looking at the tall buildings and gtf out of my way.

I hope it's on a Sunday so the Chiefs defense can take this initiative on the field.

Nobody walks in Los Angeles. I think you should reconsider allowing driving at least in LA.

I'll bet they would also look askance at "Smear the Queer" day.

POETS day!

Piss On Everything Tomorrow's Saturday!

I'm holding out for National roundhouse kick day.

so when will it national punch Herm and Carl in the mouth day?

I guess last Sunday was National Flustrated Day....

So the guy standing in the middle of the stairs while texting is fair game on Monday?

Especially the guy texting on the stairwell. He's what this holiday is all about.