So I set out for one goal last night...
 

MATCHBOX 20

Whadda douche.

This is why guy's hands are the one part I won't touch.

Your finger will fall off tomorrow.

I wish there was a way I could tell the story of my ex but it is so 'out there' that it simply isn't believable.

She is definitely the coolest girl I've ever met, though.

And she is notorious for being the 'drunk girl'...that was definitely the case last night...by the time I had my clothes on after she booted me, she was definitely out cold...so naturally I pissed in her sink (because her roommates were in the living room and I didn't feel like walking by them to use their bathroom) and ditched out through the window...

If I had a nickel for everytime I pissed in that sink...

No way...

I just woke up and posted this thread because I am pretty happy about accomplishing my goal...

But before I posted this thread, I washed the shit out of my hands...I woke up with my hand near my face and cheeeese and rice...

Do you know what its technically called when you have sex with a girl that is too drunk to make rational decisions?

You can't come off as much more of a dumbass, so you might as well go ahead and tell "the unbelievable story".

You have a drunken orgy with an Alien?

I'm sure this has been asked before. How old are you?

I don't usually go out Wednesdays but I'm going to be out of town the next 2 weekends so I felt it was needed. My buddy and I were going to meet up with these 2 girls we met last Friday night. Once we got to the first bar we realized neither of us remembered what they looked like. We had a few drinks then walked to the place where we were supposed to meet them. As we were walking up 2 girls were walking out of the place. We couldn't tell if it was them or not so we kept walking. We sat at the bar at place #2 and ordered some drinks. Soon after we got a text from the girls asking if it was us they just walked by and they were on the way to the bar we had just left. Eventually we all met up at bar #3 but I found it funny.

That is all.

All that's missing from that post is the "hahahahahahahaha" at the end.

LMAO

Hahahaha.

Dude when I used to actually date this girl...I'd come home in the mornings and tell my friends...

"Dude guys, she was so drunk last night it felt like I was raping her..."

She wasn't in that mode last night...it was around midnight and I had just sat down in the booth she was in and we started talking (hadn't talked in months, we usually just ignore one another)...and within minutes we walked out the door and headed to her place...

She was the one who sent her roommate to me and asked if I wanted to have sex with her...

I also learned last night that I am no longer 5 of 5...I am now 5 of 6 and she really likes the new guy but she thinks the new guy played her...

23.8

actually 23.11...shit my birthday is in a month SWEEET

virgins have amazing imaginations