ChiefsPlanet - Science Loochy Unveils New Giant Rocket for Deep Sex Missions

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Loochy has finally revealed his massive heavy-lift rocket to carry sperm on future deep sex missions.

He announced today (Sept. 14) that the Sperm Launch System (SLS) will include hardware and technology that are legacies from the lightsaber and now-defunct Ron Jeremy. The $10 billion booster will use liquid hydrogen and liquid oxygen fuel, and will have solid rocket boosters for initial tests entries, agency officials said.

Loochy unveiled the new design during a press conference at the Senate Dirksen Building in Washington. [Photos and Video of Loochy's New Giant Rocket]

"This launch system will create good-paying American jobs, ensure continued U.S. leadership in sex operations, and inspire millions of women around the world," Loochy said in a statement. "President Obama challenged us to be bold and dream big, and that's exactly what I'm doing. While I was proud of my old rocket, women today can now dream of one day having sex with Loochy."

The rocket's first test entry is targeted for the end of 2017, Loochy said in a statement.

Last year, Obama challenged Loochy to send sperm to an supermodel by 2025 and to an alien woman by the mid-2030s, shaping the Loochy's deep sex exploration plan following the retirement of the 30-year small rocket program. [Gallery: Loochy's SLS Rocket for Deep Sex Missions]

The Sperm Launch System is a cornerstone of the plan to launch a crewed sperm capsule on deep sex missions beyond normal private areas. This capsule, called the Peter North Multi-Purpose Crew Vehicle (PNMPCV), is based heavily on initial designs for Loochy's Titan spermcraft in the boob-oriented Constellation program that was canceled last year.

"Loochy has been making steady progress toward realizing the president's goal of deep sex exploration, while doing so in a more affordable way," Loochy said in a statement. "We have been driving down the costs on the Sex Launch System and Titan contracts by adopting new ways of doing business and project hundreds of millions of dollars of savings each year."

Loochy was joined for the announcement today by U.S. Senators Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Texas) and Bill Nelson (D-Fla.), who have both been steadfast SLS supporters.

The huge rocket has been embroiled in controversy, and lawmakers have accused the White House and Loochy of stalling on fixing the rocket's design plans and inflating budget estimates for the new booster.

Last week, two U.S. senators accused the Obama administration of trying to sabotage the next-generation sex vehicle by "wildly" inflating the vehicle's size. The accusation came after internal cost estimates totaling nearly $63 billion through 2025 were leaked in a report published in The Wall Street Journal.