George Blowfish Channels King Carl!
 

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Dear Greatest Fans in the NFL:

Miss me yet???

Hi, it's me. Your former LTGMIPS and ruler in exile, former President/General Manager/CEO/Poop Does Not Stink/Fearless Leader Carl "Delano" Peterson.

After watching the news cycle over the last 48 hours, I would like to rise up and say, unequivocally, that Chiefs fans are the GREATEST FANS IN THE NFL.

I've had four years now to let bygones be bygones. I understand that petulant little Chunt wanted to pretend to be his daddy as soon as he was handed the keys to the family car. But now that he's had his big boy pants on for a few years, he's finding out that empire building isn't that easy. Especially when you only fly in and check on the empire ten or twelve days a year.

This ain't the MLS, it's the NFL. You need a GM that is bold, that will eagerly face down the media, stand up when things aren't going well. And most of all, make sure that the nachos are the cheesiest in all of football.

Chunt needs to make a change. And who better to take over and right this ship than somebody with 20 years experience at implementing a five year plan?

Don't get me wrong Chiefs fans. I don't need the job. I took wheelbarrows full of money….literally wheelbarrows full…out of Arrowhead under my regime. I have nothing to prove to anybody, but myself. I want to PROVE to myself that I still have the mojo.

Kansas City knows what I'm all about. My first draft choice as Chiefs GM? Derrck Thomas! And you know what? If re-instated as your Preident/GM/CEO/Poop Does Not Stink/Fearless Leader, I promise that in the 2013 draft, I'll trade that pick for Alex Smith. Why? Because this offense MUST be at the helm of a former San Francisco Quarterback! If my twenty years on the job here taught you idiots anything, its that Ex-San Francisco QBs hold the key to our success.

I will also raise ticket prices immediately, because I have a responsibility to Chunt to make him mo money. That's just part of the gig. And my contract will say I get a taste of the gate. That's just good business.

Furthermore, I'll see if I can get a Janet Jackson concert and maybe a KSU-KU game scheduled at Arrowhead during the off season. I get a taste of that, too. Hey, outfitting the GM's office in black leather everything takes big bucks.

I would appreciate it if you good fans would start to clammer for my return. Maybe make a banner or something? How about flying one at the Chiefs-Raider game that says: "CHUNT: BRING BACK KING CARL NOW!"

That would be awesome.

Regardless of what happens, good luck to all you hard working, cash paying, long suffering Chiefs fans. As I've always said, a Chiefs Fan is Born Every Minute!

Your Pal,
Carl "Delano" Peterson
LTGMIPS

Speaking of Delano, where is that guy?

LMAO

He told me last night he was headed to Dallas to meet with Clark.

Yes, I'm still on the "payroll" even though there's no actual money coming from it.

**** no. Miss you like an ex-wife.

Time hasn't healed the shit sandwich Carl fed us for a decade after Marty left.

I miss Rufus Dawes. He was psychotic.

Pioli makes me miss Carl. Whats wrong with me?????

LMAO

Carl had his day. He did some really good things for the Franchise. But do I miss him? Oh God no.

Just because your current girlfriend is 350 pounds doesn't mean you go after one that is 300, you want the 120lb blonde.

Same thing as Cassel/Quinn, I'll take the 300 pounder for now, but I want the Chiefs to go after the skinny blonde in the draft.

What do they feed you guys in KC? Put down the "living in the past" pills...please?

Remember that time in 10th grade we got wasted off the Mad Dog 20/20 and dove into the pool?!?! That was ****ing awesome!!!

[looks over at fat wife and dead dreams... and sighs]

Bring back King Carl because Matt Cassel is too young!

Not even remotely.