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-   -   Life Good way to scare/piss off your wife. (http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=265530)

Holladay 10-22-2012 03:06 PM

Good way to scare/piss off your wife.
 
The wife and I were down in the man-cave watching "The Bobby Jones Story" (btw great flick bout a golf icon). Alcohol was involved. She with wine and me with whiskey/coke.

I'd had 2-3 tumblers. Getting a nice buzz, not drunk. I took a big pull....and the dang first bit went down the wrong tube:) So here I sit, a mouth full of booze, trying and swallow, trying to cough. The swallowing thingie didn't work.

So now I'm spraying, in spurts (still trying to do the swallow thingie), hosing down the basement. The pressure is building as I stop the futile swallow thingie, instead try to just hold it in. I remember getting/pole vaulting up trying to get to the sink, and that's it.

Next thing I remember is relishing how cold tile is and the wife's voice, seemingly coming from a tunnel, shouting "Are you O.K.". And she keeps repeating it like I can't @$%! hear her. Then her face comes into focus 2" from my nose.

I was fine. She said I took a header into the fish tank cabinet. I guess what happened, with all that pressure building, there was no O2 getting to the brain and I passed out. Like you did when you were a kid; hold your breath until your face turns red and pass out. Well I guess I did that with a mouthful of whiskey.

I felt like a cat, when it lands wrong, then looks around to see if anyone saw the faux pas. The wife looked at my head, expecting a bloody mess. I told her again I was fine. I cleaned up the mess and finished the movie.

I didn't tell her about the golf ball sized lump on the BACK of my head on the Knowledge Knot (that bump on the base of the skull right above your spine).

So is there anyone here who can swallow and cough at the same time? Or can't hold their whiskey:evil:

tooge 10-22-2012 03:09 PM

tits or gtfo

Inmem58 10-22-2012 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tooge (Post 9039352)
tits or gtfo

/thread

Pestilence 10-22-2012 03:15 PM

So what I gathered from your story is that you're a spitter and not a swallower.

frankotank 10-22-2012 03:25 PM

My wife doesn't have piss on her....so that just wouldn't work on her.

Holladay 10-22-2012 03:27 PM

squiter

Dr. Facebook Fever 10-22-2012 03:35 PM

Blame Pioli

KChiefer 10-22-2012 04:00 PM

Almost killing yourself with one glass of booze is a good way to scare her for sure.

Drinking 10 more of them is the better way to piss her off. Best way though...dutch oven the morning after those drinks.

CoMoChief 10-22-2012 04:04 PM

So you almost drowned choking on whiskey? LOL

theelusiveeightrop 10-22-2012 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KChiefer (Post 9039494)
Almost killing yourself with one glass of booze is a good way to scare her for sure.

Drinking 10 more of them is the better way to piss her off. Best way though...dutch oven the morning after those drinks.

Dutch oven always wins big points in the bedroom.

BigRedChief 10-22-2012 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tooge (Post 9039352)
tits or gtfo

rep

Flachief58 10-22-2012 04:09 PM

Next time, lean forward to keep any more from being drawn down the wind pipe & cough through your nose. Either that or sacrifice the drink and spit in the cup.

rageeumr 10-22-2012 04:09 PM

I don't know why I opened this thread. There are a lot of things I lack in life, but finding ways to piss off my wife is not one of them.

Hog Farmer 10-22-2012 04:53 PM

Damn, that was funny , I almost choked on my ****ing beer!

ChiefaRoo 10-22-2012 04:55 PM

So your like George Bush only without the pretzel.


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