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-   -   Poop WTF ... The dreaded Sneeze/Shart (http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=268142)

Mr. Laz 12-29-2012 01:43 PM

WTF ... The dreaded Sneeze/Shart
 
Holiday inevitably leads to catching a cold from being around all the extra people.

I've been coming down with the sniffles and sneezing a lot.

I'm sitting on the side of my bed and feel the sneeze coming. At this point, sneezing feels good so i let it come.

ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo .... let a huge sneeze fly


I immediately know that something is wrong and clamp the butt cheeks closed.

Dam ... that sneeze/fart sounded and felt way too wet.

Waddle to the toilet and let it go ... nothing but brown water. Not diarrhea ... literally brown water.

Then i look down and see this wet spot on my underwear. ****!!

Then i see the same on my sweat pants. Holy ****!!

I take them off and go back to bedroom to get new clothing and another dam spot on the bed sheets.

What the ****ing hell ... i'm blowing a water spout out of my ass.

:cuss:


am i dying?

Dr. Facebook Fever 12-29-2012 01:48 PM

I haven't laughed that hard at something on CP in long time. Thank you.

lewdog 12-29-2012 02:22 PM

Pics or it didn't happen?!

Wait......nevermind.

teedubya 12-29-2012 02:30 PM

Hahahahahahaha....

Ace Gunner 12-29-2012 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Laz (Post 9248680)
Holiday inevitably leads to catching a cold from being around all the extra people.

I've been coming down with the sniffles and sneezing a lot.

I'm sitting on the side of my bed and feel the sneeze coming. At this point, sneezing feels good so i let it come.

ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo .... let a huge sneeze fly


I immediately know that something is wrong and clamp the butt cheeks closed.

Dam ... that sneeze/fart sounded and felt way too wet.

Waddle to the toilet and let it go ... nothing but brown water. Not diarrhea ... literally brown water.

Then i look down and see this wet spot on my underwear. ****!!

Then i see the same on my sweat pants. Holy ****!!

I take them off and go back to bedroom to get new clothing and another dam spot on the bed sheets.

What the ****ing hell ... i'm blowing a water spout out of my ass.

:cuss:


am i dying?

ah, that is holiday cheer :D


or it could be nerves or you are geting old.

Dartgod 12-29-2012 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lewdog (Post 9248845)
Pics or it didn't happen?!

Wait......nevermind.

<iframe width="480" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/vhUEDo_KM0E" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

bevischief 12-29-2012 02:33 PM

ROFLROFL

You need "Depends"

Ceej 12-29-2012 02:34 PM

LMAO LMAO

theelusiveeightrop 12-29-2012 02:36 PM

You are not dying. Just another affliction that comes with being a Chiefs fan. Good luck.

bevischief 12-29-2012 02:38 PM

You have the Cassel virus. It is going around this time of year.

CoMoChief 12-29-2012 02:58 PM

I've never seen so many people this sick all at one time. Everyone in my family is sick....many of my friends status' on Facebook are saying they're sick, everyone at my work is sick, I'm ****in sicker than hell right now. The cold medicine I'm taking right now is making me constipated as hell. Spent nearly 1 hour on the shitter and after grunting and straining only a little shit pellet projectiled out like it was shot out of a AR-15 rifle, splashed some of the piss-filled toilet water up on my ball bag.

Mr. Laz 12-29-2012 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod (Post 9248916)
<iframe width="480" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/vhUEDo_KM0E" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

:LOL:


I haven't seen that movie.

scho63 12-29-2012 03:25 PM

Thank God you weren't sleeping in the buff or your sheets would have been a Rorschach test and your wife would not have been to happy to clean up that crime scene!

Lonewolf Ed 12-29-2012 03:46 PM

You're not dying, but if you ever have a hic-burp, you will feel like your abdomen is going to split wide open.

bevischief 12-29-2012 03:48 PM

But does it burn when you pee or shart?


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