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-   -   Science Stuck at Home With Wife or Girlfriend? (http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=270247)

gblowfish 02-21-2013 11:00 AM

Stuck at Home With Wife or Girlfriend?
 
Being stuck indoors can be depressing. Good news! I have a solution! Now if you can just get the wife or GF to trust science....

http://www.sex.com/news/blog/2012/08...women-and-men/

Itís great that blowjobs can be used as a cure for morning sickness but this blowjob news will blow* you away. The State University of New York has been studying the mood altering effects of chemicals in semen. Their results, shocking:

Blowjobs are good for a womanís health.

In case you didnít get it the first time, Iíll repeat myself:
BLOWJOBS ARE GOOD FOR A WOMANíS HEALTH!

This may sound like a male conspiracy to get more blowjobs (which it very well could be) but luckily the team from State have provided the credentials from the study.

Semen has a lot more to offer than just little guppies, also known as sperm. It contains several chemicals that can elevate mood (esterone, oxytocin, serotonin, and a thyrotropin-releasing hormone), increase affection (cortisol), and induce sleep (melatonin) making semen a mind-altering cocktail.

Researchers (Gallup, Burch, and Platek) interviewed 293 female college students from the Albany campus and got the women to give them blowjobs and compared their sex lives with a survey on depression. They found that women who never used condoms had fewer depression symptoms than those who always used condoms or abstained from sex entirely (not factoring the risk of not using a condom). Women who were abstinent or promiscuously practicing safe-sex were equally depressed meaning that women who are having sex arenít happier. It is the seminal fluid and its antidepressant qualities that make women happier.

The study also showed that women have better concentration and are better at cognitive tasks when exposed to semen.

So why blowjobs specifically? Because an accidental pregnancy can cause depression. Be safe and be happy by swallowing as much semen as you can.

Detoxing 02-21-2013 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gblowfish (Post 9422536)

Researchers (Gallup, Burch, and Platek) interviewed 293 female college students from the Albany campus and got the women to give them blowjobs

OMFG.

These men are GENIUS.

Fairplay 02-21-2013 11:04 AM

Good for a man's health also.

htismaqe 02-21-2013 11:04 AM

I'm sure all of those mood-altering chemicals can be absorbed directly into the bloodstream through the walls of the colon, without being subjected to the disintegrating effects of stomach acid.

Just sayin'.

PIIHB

SPchief 02-21-2013 11:04 AM

I promise, its only for scientific purposes. Now get on your knees

ptlyon 02-21-2013 11:08 AM

They didn't state how healthy their hair was as well :hmmm:

J Diddy 02-21-2013 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by htismaqe (Post 9422547)
I'm sure all of those mood-altering chemicals can be absorbed directly into the bloodstream through the walls of the colon, without being subjected to the disintegrating effects of stomach acid.

Just sayin'.

PIIHB

Each man has his poison. Ain't no need to declare one better than the other. When we fight, women win.

Donger 02-21-2013 11:14 AM

Even when it's an unintentional but inevitable eye-shot?

htismaqe 02-21-2013 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9422575)
Each man has his poison. Ain't no need to declare one better than the other. When we fight, women win.

I'm not fighting.

I'm just making the case that if your woman wants the MAXIMUM health benefit that she can get, introducing these chemicals orally isn't the most direct or effective method available.

Graystoke 02-21-2013 11:25 AM

The study also showed that women have better concentration and are better at cognitive tasks when exposed to semen

I have got a co-worker that just can't concentrate at all lately.
I will bring this up to her and tell her I have the cure right here in my hand.

Discuss Thrower 02-21-2013 11:26 AM

Give these magnificent sons-of-bitches a Nobel

Reerun_KC 02-21-2013 11:26 AM

Nothing is better than being snowed in with the wife...

Married 21 years and she is just as awesome now as the day I first met her...

htismaqe 02-21-2013 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystoke (Post 9422637)
The study also showed that women have better concentration and are better at cognitive tasks when exposed to semen

I have got a co-worker that just can't concentrate at all lately.
I will bring this up to her and tell her I have the cure right here in my hand.

The best part is that you'll be completely free to date her afterwards because she won't be a co-worker anymore!

hometeam 02-21-2013 11:44 AM

So I showed this to my fiance, and she says "Is that you telling me you want a blowjob?" I said "Yes".

You know the rest~

Graystoke 02-21-2013 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hometeam (Post 9422695)
So I showed this to my fiance, and she says "Is that you telling me you want a blowjob?" I said "Yes".

You know the rest~

I gotta REP that.


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