Originally Posted by Canofbier
[teenage rant]
I went out for drinks tonight with a chick from my apartment complex, whom I met during our Halloween bash last Thursday. I called her to ask her out, she says "I'd love to" and all that, and we finally went out tonight.
We have a very nice time, and I make at least a few flirtatious comments referring directly to the date we're currently on. After a couple hours of enjoyable discussion, we leave (because we both have early morning work things to do), and I feel pretty good about it.
I'm sitting at home, sipping at a rum & coke before bed, and I get a text from her saying that "I had a nice time, but I had no idea that you were asking me on a date! We hardly know each other! I'm not in a position to date right now, but I hope that we can be friends, haha!"
I cannot emphasize how obvious this date scenario was. Like any man, I've had my fair share of rejection, but it frustrates me like hell that she hesitated to tell me that she didn't see things as a date until well after the "date" culminated. I feel far more let-down than I would have if she had asserted her position outright (at which point we'd have happily shared some beers as new friends), but she purposefully led me to believe that she was interested in some sort of relationship during the "date" so that she wouldn't have to "give me the bad news" in person. For women, that's considered to be "tactful". For men, it would be "leading someone on".
Pardon me, but that's absolute bullshit. Women nowadays are plagued by inequities in income and social status, but so many of them choose to perpetuate their situation by using only the social constructs that benefit them. Neither I (nor any reasonable man) is encouraged to be anything but direct, and the same standard ought to be applied to women.
I'm one of the bigger supporters of gender/sex equality in nearly every aspect of life, but I feel like an asshole for being convinced that behavior like this (from liberal women, no less) practically guarantees their continued inequality by a majority of men who support it.
I'll be over this specific scenario tomorrow, but **** this shit. I'm tired of being proven wrong, and I'm tired of seeing supposed "progressives" turn out to be nothing more than social opportunists.
Reading through this before posting it, I'm inclined to go get some cheese to accompany my whine, but since I've typed it all out I may as well post it. Or not. You can be the judge of that.
[\teenage rant]
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