Football is better/ basketball is better
Our bowl game was awesome/ Your bowl game sucked
Look at the record!/ Records don't mean shit.
We make more money!/ So?!!?
SEC is awesome/ Big Whatever is awesomer!
Jeff Sagarin is my Lord and Savior!/ Jeff Sagarin has a robot penis
Quit relying on the past!/ If you take into account the total record over the past 120 years...
"And I don't wish that girl any bad luck," he said, "but I hope she gets hit with a car."
- Tommy Lasorda