She should have sent this letter instead:
"Dear Dad:
Sorry I treated your teenage son as my personal **** puppet. He must have got that shovel in his pants from you, right?
I think you should know, I performed every imaginable nasty sex act for him that your wife either never did for you, or stopped doing after the honeymoon.
So, My bad. Won't happen again.
Thanks for talking to your wife about dropping the charges.
Toodles!"
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