[Iowanian]

I remember Chiefspanet
when it had chest hair and calloused hands
I remember when it talked about
football, players, beer and bands.

Wrenches, tools, and bruising tackles
What women look like nude...
Appear to now be replaced
by pastel sweaters, exotic puddings and other sissy foods.

I'm not certain of it's time of death
it wasn't delivered DOA
The rattle in its chest suggests
It's been over-run by Kathy Griffith's gays.

I looked all week for a manly read
maybe the latest elephant diarrhea news
But now it's all about grey poupon
and the proper post-September shoes.