|
SNR is my kind of guy. What can I say? We have similar interests. SNR is ChiefsPlanet's biggest vocal advocate of rape. He loves rape. His rape takes caused Fat Elvis to home school his daughter and ban all 1st, 2nd and 3rd cousins from all family functions until said daughter's 25th birthday. They also don't allow any grapes, crepes or episodes of Mad Men in their household. But enough about that weirdo Fat Elvis, this is about my guy SNR. And rape. Anyways, the dude is a super accomplished musician. Obviously, we're all white on this board and we all attend mass on Sunday's. What many of you don't know is, SNR is THE organ player for his church. I used to think this was pretty cool until I did a little research and found out most organ players (and accomplished musicians in general) were raped as children. I'm talking like 72%. Kenny G? Yep. Raped. You get the point. I don't think your uncle meant he wanted you to become an accomplished pianist, guy. Maybe took that "shot" of advice a little too literally. But hey! Rape is SUPER funny! Rape and music aren't the only things SNR enjoys. Dude is real bargain shopper (which is strange because he hates Jews). He was inspired years ago when he read about that crazy Craigslist story about the kid who turned a small red paper clip into a mansion through hundreds of hours of bartering and making trades! Being the charasmatic guy that he is, he became obsessed. Within 3 days he was giving up to 10 steamy blowjobs per day behind his local Schlotzky's Deli. He initially wanted to charge for these but couldn't figure out how to pay taxes on giving blowjobs or what kind of write offs he'd be eligible for so he just did them for leisure. I know you're wondering what the **** that has to do with paper clips and mansions, but, you know...sometimes when you go to a website and see "men seeking men" you get ****ing distracted. I know I sure do. SNR is a HUGE advocate of Kansas City BBQ! His favorite are the rib tips from Applebee's. SNR had an audition to become the 4th Beastie Boy but no showed it when he found out they were Jewish. Not only does this wonderful man have incredible taste in music, BBQ and rape...he is also quite the movie man! His favorites include Desperately Seeking Susan and As Good as it Gets, and Helen Hunt is his favorite actress. SNR actually lost his non-rape virginity watching season 3, episode 4 of Mad About You. Great show. He has, however, not seen The Dark Knight because he didn't want his perfect image of Heath Ledger to be tainted in any way. We'll give you a pass on that one, SNR!
In conclusion, Geno Smith.
|