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If the dog is isolating itself and losing control over its bowel and bladder functions it may be at the point where it doesn't have much quality of life.
With that said, it's obviously a complicated situation. I don't know the extent of your son's disability. I'm inferring that he knows about life and death but that this is more of an issue of letting go.
I have a daughter with special needs, but she is still very young (four), her disabilities are primarily motor-related, and I don't believe that either she or her sister truly understand what it means for someone or something to die.
I'm really very sorry that you and your son have to go through this, but I also believe that if you care enough to solicit advice over an issue like this you will make the right decision.
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"When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.' When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”--Abraham Lincoln
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