Quote:
Originally Posted by Prison Bitch
Kept getting calls from a window replacement company, kept telling them I wasn't interested. Finally told a caller "You're looking for prison bitch?" When she said yes I told her "I'm sorry he committed suicide last week". She actually sounded sad
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About once a year I get a call from some sleazy wine sales place, and it always catches me by surprise. It enrages me because they're the most dishonest, lying, garbage on the planet today (possible exception being ISIS, but I'm not sure).
They tell my screener that they've got an appointment with me, and then when they get through, they say, "A friend of yours told us that you really like wine!" That's always their opening line and they say it with great fake excitement.
I don't drink, so I now know that they've lied twice over the course of two sentences.
In the past, I would say, "Who said that?" and then I'd argue with them a little while they kept lying about it, and then I'd call them liars and hang up. But I've been thinking about it, and I think next time I'm going to pretend that I'm an alcoholic who killed someone and is wearing an ankle bracelet. I'm going to see how terrible I can be to see if there's any person they wouldn't sell to.
"You have alcohol? Do you take cash? Will you deliver? I can't go more than a 100 foot radius from my home and my workplace, so you have to deliver. And who will know about it? Will you destroy the records? Because I can't have any record of me buying alcohol or I'll go back to prison. It wasn't the alcohol that caused the wreck, it just happened, you know what I mean? So about that wine? Do you have anything stronger? And how much can I get?"
My goal will be to cause psychological trauma to the sleazy salesperson, so maybe that's mean. But I despise dishonest salespeople.