[scho63]

I'm no therapist by any means but several of you who harbor such hatred of your father need a way to get rid of the hate.

Not saying you need to forgive him or suddenly love him for being a grade A douchbag or horrible father or even looking to reconnect but that deep seated hate will always be hiding in you and will never do you any good.

Sorry so many of you have to deal with that.

My father was no saint by any means including being a loan shark, in jail for several times when I was a child and some other crazy shit but he was a good father. He was never around much growing up but I never harbored any hate towards him, I loved him dearly. There were reasons for his lifestyle; he grew up with an alcoholic and abusive father and was a VERY tough street guy who grew up in Newark NJ with a lot of big shot gangsters as his friends. He was very poor and life was very tough for him and his brothers and sisters. All of them (5) but one had polio as kids and were the March of Dimes family in the 50s appearing in the NY Times.

He only made it to 7th grade before he went to work at the age of 15.

He died in 1996 at age 57 and I miss him very much.

Be thankful for all the great Fathers and look deeper to see why some are not so good. You may find a surprising or possible reason to help explain.