After reading all the caring and heartfelt replies, the moral to the story is:
1. Dont go charging into battle sans your armour.
2. If you choose to ignore (1), do not sign onto www.chiefsplanet.com
and expect sympathy/advice. Simply control your urge to tell the world wide web about your blatenly stupid sexual escapades. If you can't, you'll be verbally bashed into the next lifetime by evey Planeteer with an operational keyboard.