oh man... this thread made me laugh soo many times. Fuggin Great.
Dude... RoyJr... You need to be as chill as possible... Have a good environment set up... a clean pad is a must... also light a couple candles or incense. When you first see her, tell her she looks / or smells great. Give her a nice kiss... hold it for a few seconds longer than a usual kiss greeting. Tell her that you have missed her company since you last saw her. [im assuming she is coming to visit from another town? that is what i gathered...anyway] Sit close to her, and playfully touch her, whenever appropriate... Laugh at her jokes, and be witty, but dont overly attempt at being hilarious like Phobia, Bob Dole, RainMan, and others are. Be yourself as much as possible... Halfway through the date, unzip your pants, whip it out, and yell GIT'R DONE!
Guarantee score.
Also, since she likes football, you could say... Priest Holmes got into the endzone 27 times last year... I have NEVER been in an endzone. Then try to stick it up her butt.
If that doesnt work. Ask her if she likes porno...you would be surprised at how many chicks love pr0n.
good luck at GITTIN R DONE!
