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HOly crap, I got a million of em, but I'll list the top ones...
She has a junk drawer and a junk box. Seriously, as a guy I guess I'm supposed to be down with that, but it is the dumbest pile of shit I've ever seen. And you can never clean it out, oh no. I'm always amazed at the amount of shit in there, yet when you need something it NEVER resides in the junk drawer.
Famous quotes:
"Once we paint our room this weekend I will be all done with the house..." LIAR!!!!
"How about tomorrow, honey, I'm really tired tonight". You know the saying about how tomorrow never comes...well....
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We have a million reasons for failure, but not one excuse... 
  Die Donks, DIE!! 
Holy Crap fellas!!! We did it!!! THREE TIMES!!! 
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