[Mark M]

[b]Offense:[/b]
[b]QB:[/b] Mark M: [i]Skinny A$$ State[/i]; Missed senior year due to injury—tore ACL when he was blown into the stands by a 10 mph "gust."
[b]FB:[/b] Bob Dole: [i]Congressional Community College[/i]; 21 carries, 19 yards, O touchdowns, 1 impalement with pen that is prepetually clutched in right hand.
[b]HB:[/b] Luz: [i]Ware R. University[/i]; Once missed a game because he didn’t think half-back was a real position.
[b]HB:[/b] H_C Chief: [i]Hill College[/i]; Junior year stats: 9 games, 10 carries, 1,200 yards, 1 coach’s girlfriend.
[b]HB:[/b] Lumpoc Brave [i]Southern Cal[/i]; Wore condoms on his uniform freshman year believing [i]that[/i] Trojan was the team mascot.
[b]WR:[/b] KPhobia: [i]San Francisco University[/i]; Named to the school’s "All-Time Receivers" list in 1993..."All-Time Givers" list in 1995.
[b]WR:[/b] JOhn: [i]UMSL (University of Missouri for Slow Learners)[/i]; Caught 25 passes and 32 colds his senior season.
[b]WR:[/b] coryt: [i]Howe R. University[/i]; Unlike JOhn, wasn’t able to catch anything other than a cold.
[b]OT[/b]: Titus: [i]Raytown South High School[/i]; Went directly to pros due to Ray South’s superior ability to mold felons—er—I mean upstanding football professionals.
[b]OT[/b] Wolfman: [i]Transylvania College[/i]; Flagged for holding defensmen 32 times...cheerleaders twice.
[b]OG:[/b] Russ: [i]Bliss University[/i]; Pulled more times his senior year than a 13 year old’s groin.
[b]OG:[/b] bishop74: [i]L.S.D. (Louisiana State Diocese)[/i]; Set record for "tripping" penalties…but only once during a game.
[b]Center[/b]: Cameron Diaz: [i]Blewe University[/i]; Her knowledge of hair care products made her invaluable to her team...and to this one.
[b]TE:[/b] dawsonpa: [i]Pennsylvania School for Teachers[/i]; Her end was ranked #1 by SI.
[b]TE:[/b] Mark Kilgore: [i]B.J.U.[/i]; Transferred from SFU because his end wasn’t tight enough.
[b]PK:[/b] Dartgod: [i]Elliot State[/i]; Set new record for FG percentage at .0000000000001%.<BR>