Looks like our warpaint dude made the news this afternoon. No wonder he was such a class act today:
OVERLAND PARK, KS Warpaint99's (13) attempt to adopt an inventive method to enhance sexual pleasure landed him on the surgeon’s table yesterday.
Inspired by the fad of body piercing, the Overland Park, Kansas resident substituted a ring with a metal nut and pushed it around his penis. Problem was, the metal stayed stubbornly stuck to his organ for over two hours.
After failing to remove the foreign body, an embarrassed WarPaint99 decided to seek medical help and checked into the emergency ward of Shawnee Mission Hospital in the evening.
“I have never come across such a case in the last 12 years of my experience,” said Dr Bharati Karat, the on duty chief medical officer.
Karat said that warpaint99 was initially reluctant to reveal his ailment but later spoke of his situation to a male intern who examined him and came away shocked at his find.
“We decided to cut the nut, but the metal was too thick. The case was later referred to the surgeons,” said on duty assistant medical officer Dr Gopal Mahajan.
warpaint99 gives his statement to police at Shawnee Mission hospital yesterday. The picture was taken secretly from a distance, hence the poor quality The surgeon said, “The nut was so tight that it caused a severe swelling on the organ due to which the blood supply to that part of the anatomy was stopped. It took us almost two hours to get the nut out. Had the patient delayed admission by few hours, we would have had to amputate the organ, as the affected area may have developed gangrene.”
warpaint99 told the doctors that he desired to prolong sexual pleasure and hence inserted the nut.
“This is a case of sexual perversion,” said Dr Mahajan. Another doctor said that while body piercing in delicate areas of the human anatomy had become a fad, the consequences could be alarming.
The matter was later handed over to the Overland Park police, who visited the hospital to record warpaint99’s statement.
“We wanted to know if someone else had inserted the metal or he had committed the act himself. We will register the matter in our station dairy,” said the on duty police officer.
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Four blessings upon my fellow planeteers: Older whiskey, younger women, faster horses, and more money.