Bears get really bad around Denver this time of the year. They even saw one at Elitch Gardens once! They're coming out of hibernation hungry. I bet he's feasting in your garbage and then rolling around afterwards to aid digestion. Tell your wife you need to invest in some bear traps.
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
- H. L. Mencken
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