Quote:
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Originally Posted by chagrin
Thanks dude!
I have posted limericks here before. Me and my buddy's back home used sing the rugby songs after games...
Come on guys:
There once was a young Senator from Boston Mass....
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Here's one of the old songs...
Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no ****ing use to anyone.
He's no ****ing use at all.
He may be a joy to his mother
But he's a pain in the asshole to me.
So drink mother ****er,
Drink mother ****er
Drink mother ****er, Drink!
Drink mother ****er
Drink mother ****er, Drink!
Why are we waiting?
We could be masturbating.
Oh, why are we waiting?
Oh why, why, why?
He ought to be thoroughly pissed on,
He ought to be publicly shot,
He ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.
Here's another old favorite...
I used to work in Chicago
In the old department store.
I used to work in Chicago,
I don't work there anymore.
A woman came in for a hammer,
A hammer from the store.
A hammer she wanted, nailed she got,
I don't work there anymore.
chorus
A woman came in for some nails,
Nails from the store.
Nails she wanted, screwed she got,
I don't work there anymore.
chorus
A woman came in for some paper... a ream she got
A screen door... the back door
Some meat... my sausage
A ham... porked
A hammer... banged
A carpet pile she wanted... shagged
A fishing rod... my pole
Some beef... porked
A camel... humped
A helicopter... my chopper
A KitKat... four fingers
A Mars bar... the Hershey highway
A sailor... my semen
Some jewelry... a pearl necklace
A translator... cunning linguist
A pencil... pen iteration
A computer... my Wang
A floppy disk... My hard drive
A doughnut... glazed she wanted. cream filled she got
An elevator... my shaft
A spring... BOINGed
A screwdriver... screwed
Some bolts... my nuts
A T-bone... my boneless round
A gun... banged
Some nylons... my hose
A floppy disk... my hard drive
Some gift wrapping... packed
Some velvet... felt
Some liquor... lick her I did
Some bolts... my nuts
Some plastic... rubbers
Some plumbing... my pipe
A pipe... my hose
Some liquid Plumber.. her pipes cleaned
Some seafood... lobster ... crabs
Some beer... 6-pack
A balloon... blown
A lollipop... licked
A horse... ridden
Some wheels... rimmed
Milk... cream
Some butter... spread
A ****... ****ed