Hey, pen, I stole your poopy pants. I can't hide my secret any longer.
If you want them back, send $10,000 in unmarked bills to the corner of 5th and Main in a black duffel bag with white straps. Put it in the green trash can.
Better to be the bastard child of a king and his whore than to be a ****ing peasant at the shite homer trough.