Now most of you have had that "slip in the rain" story to relate...this one happened on a misseriable night in Pittsburg.
I was at some grocerie center loading dock at O dark hundred when this dude ..oh lets call him "Loading dock Louie" descides that I not he should hand load 550 cases of "pampers"(as in baby diappers) into my trailer. While I wont give a verbatum on the dialouge,,it suffice to say the "F" word got used mighty liberally that evening. He figured my C.D.L...(commercial drivers licence) stood for Combination Driver Loader.
Getting ever more P*ssed by the min,as I was already 4 hrs late,ole' "Louie" descides now is a great time to "spark up a fatty".
Ok,,,now i'm seeing red!!!( I have to take random pee tests and I cant have any) I storm down the dock towards my truck,,,ahhhh did I mention it was raining? more like a friggen monsoon.... I did.... Good!
Because at exactly the same time my foot "thought" it was firmly decending the stairs to the parking lot below the dock,I began to see the stairs up close and personal.Yeppper...here's our "big time trucking hero" doing the Swan river head stand down a flight of stairs.
I read a book once where the author stated that he had this relationship with pain...."if I hurt then I know i'm still alive"....Trust me folks,,,I was very F'ing much alive at this moment!
"Louie" naerly p*ssed himself laughing at me,and now having firmly drenched m'self in Lake Utopia which had developed at the foot of the staris I limped back to the cab,for some dry cloths.
A funny thing happens when a parking lot gets all wet....the oils, grease and road slime from vehicles seem to come right out of the asphalt ,and cling to your shoes like baby sh*t to a blanket but as slippery as slick 50.........(keep this in mind,)..............
Now in the cab,and changed,put on a few band aids to ease my bleeding knee caps, light up a smoke and begin to try and out wait "Loading dock Louie" as to who exactly was gonna "finger print these here pampers. NO CONTEST!! As fast as he downed said "fatty" he passed out on the dock.
I begin to climb out of the truck now I'm really good and mad!!....
They teach you in safty school never have less than 2 points of contact between you and your truck when getting in and out of said vehical..(at least 1 hand on a grab handle or other solid means of support,with 1 or more body parts in relativly the same position) A good rule,,,,A REALLY GOOD RULE!!!!!
Guess what gentle readers???...the only point of contact at this piticular moment was my sneaker,,,,,,,,whats that you say?...Ahhhh you remembered the slimy gunk on the bottem of said sneaker from 3 partagraphs agao,,,.so like I really dont have to tell you what happend next do I ???
Mellon first onto the ole' ground AGAIN but only after preforming what must have been a compleat summersault on the way down which I would imagine looked like a cross between an elephant doing the splits and an albatros trying to take flight.
To make a long story short,I went through 3 sets of cloths , "Louie" never did wake back up and I spent the night like a drowned rat tossing casses of pampers in to my trailer.!!!!
GOD I JUST LOVE TRUCKING!!!!!!