I don't think it's so much what you do, but what your SO's comfort level is. It's ok if you're not exceeding their comfort level. If you are, then it's not right.
Both just have to have clearly defined limits. BD gets along fine with his situation. I couldn't deal with that. As long as you two communicate and get on the same plane as far as expected behavior there is room for lots of different attitudes and tolorance levels.