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Originally Posted by Loki
i was hoping to hear your perspective on this. (you're an attorney aren't you?)
i understand that once custody is granted that it's going to take some SERIOUS pull to overturn the decision. (as far as i know, the intricacies of this case may or may not have set some new precedence in my state... @ least that's what the judge and the GAL were discussing at the last hearing)
my questioning deals more with what GOOD is this decision going to do for me or my kids when she has:
a. visitation
b. is already violating the court order (and in contempt of court) with said visitation based on the fact that she is NOT to have my kids anywhere near ex-convict and gangsta-boy. (according to the order set @ the hearing before custody was assigned to me)
she is the type of asshole that will "agree" with everything in front of the judge, but will do whatever the fuck she wants to do when she leaves the courtroom. she violated the separation/divorce agreement(s) the moment she stepped foot out of the courthouse and never got in trouble, and she is already violating these custody proceedings and we're not even done with all the hearing for fuck's sake!!!
so what good is "full custody" when she has ANY visitation whatsoever considering her blatant disregard of the judge's orders??!!
*groan*  
anyways, thanks for your thoughts bo. |
i'm retired and have successfully completed rehab and been readmitted to the human race...
turning to your question, there are many substantial advantages to having custody such as control over the kids medical treatment, control over the activities going on around them, etc.
but most of all, they get to live with you and are safe from asshole and her excon boyfriend most of the time...
when your kids get older, they will remember what happened to them when they were forced to live with asshole and friend, and they will love you all the more for rescuing them from a very negative environment...
you should also be aware that judge's rarely order the mother to stay away from the kids, no matter how bad she is, unless of course she gets convicted of some drug related or child abuse crime, it is very unlikely that a judge will cut off all visitation for asshole...
otoh, there will come a point when the judge gets tired of it all and will start enforcing his his orders with comtempt charges and it's possible that the judge could even refuse to schedule any more hearings in the absence of any real evidence to support her position...
regarding asshole having visitation, it's almost impossible to cut off all visitation, but if things don't calm down and the children can testify as to what's been going on whern they visit asshole there's a remote possibility...
when you go to court next time, ask for supervised visitation for asshole (that will put a crimp in her efforts to turn the kids against you and would go a long way towards protecting them from abuse - and they would never have to see assholes butt buddy again)...
btw, i assume you have a lawyer handling this, so none of this is "legal advice, etc. etc.
just friendly suggestions, if you know what i mean...
personally, i'd try for supervised visitation at the next hearing, but obviously i don't have all the facts nor do i know about divorce and custody laws in your state, so i can't really advise you about a pending case...
but from personal experience, i can tell you that it is very very difficult for a father to get full custody, but once granted, it would take a miracle for asshole to get them back...
regarding the judge's order not being followed and/or enforced...
annoying as it is, asshole will be able to file various crap seeking to regain custody for awhile, but at some point the judge will get tired of all the frivolous motions, which won't help her any when it comes to the judge making his decision on what really matters, getting supervised visitations...
hopefully, your lawyer will continue to serve you well (he's a friggin miracle worker already) and at some point he should be able to cut off all but supervised visitatoin...
but that's probably about the best you could hope for...
almost no judge would refuse a mother having supervised visitation with her kids (except under exteme conditions, which you don't have here, afaics)...
you should discuss all this with your lawyer, he's you point man now...
caveat: everything i've said is subject to what facts you're are able to prove in court regarding the need for supervised visitation and subject to, of course, the law in your state...
but pm me if you have any questions that i may be able to help you with...
and good luck to ya, bro...