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Originally Posted by ROYC75
Loki, hang in there man, KEEP UP THE FIGHT, you have already established the ground work for terminating the asshole in your life. It's only natural for the asshole to produce some shit along the way by any means she can. These are nothing but trials you need to endure to maintain custody of the kids., the battle has been won.
As long as you continue the course you are on, it's just a matter of time before the asshole runs it's course and has nothing to come back on.
Word of the wise, get you a ledger, log all the activity down, date and time, how they affect youe kids with her actions. She will continue to try to use the kids against you, but most of all, just tell your kids that ( mommy ) asshole has some problems, don't go into details to them about it at this time. They are too young to understand adults ( or an inmature adult asshole ). Always be positive with the kids about her, somehow.
It's commom for adults to ask kids what goes on in the ex's life when split up. Many times most adults use it for an advantage against each other ..... Never fully understanding what it does to a kid on the inside.
Always remember, look at it thru a kids eyes and age , always ask your kids, never drill them and degrade the ex but explain to them why things aren't right in her life and that you wish it could be better for them, but do keep all info logged down, dates and times. This will get you farther in the eyes of the courts since you are being the responsible , mature , parent here.
Best of luck ...........
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yeah, i keep a journal. been doing it since the divorce. my attorney said that asshole would step on her own dick sooner or later, so just document everything and save all the nasty voicemails on tape.
unfortunately, the kids have been exposed to WAY to much of adult life. they understand a lot more of it than i ever thought possible. the kid's therapist and the GAL both said they know WAY TOO MUCH for kids their age. luckily, both kids are smart enough to not let me know what they know... they know i'd either have a massive coronary or hit the stratosphere like an ICBM...
i really DO try to keep from ragging on asshole in front of them to a minimum. it is VERY hard sometimes... especially when she is having a tantrum with me on the phone in front of them. i try to walk out of the room so they can't hear it, but her grating voice can be heard for miles... i also can't help myself to a few choice phrases after i hang up. only natural, but i DO try.
i know that they're part of both of us so i try to respect them in that aspect. but truth be known, my daughter HATES her mother (for good reason) already.
usually, i try and change the subject if the kids are talking about their mother or asking me questions about her. the only time they really get in depth with talking about their mother is when they go to their therapist. pretty much every time before the kids go to speak with their therapist, my daughter will begin drawing pictures or writing things about her mother in the waiting room. you can always count on her to draw in big huge letters "i hate mom" on her pictures. pretty twisted and disturbing stuff...
but OTOH i always dig the pictures the kids draw of me and them together (either at the therapists or at school)... always puts a smile on my face.
got them pinned up on the fridge and in their rooms.
thanks for your thoughts.