Why did Helen Keller's dog jump off a cliff and kill itself? You would too if your name was sajifjlsisdjifiuop.
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman! no seriously why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!
If Helen Keller were psychic, would she call it a fourth sense?
How do you get helen keller to keep a secret? Break her fingers