[FAX]

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks who went for a walk in the forest. Pretty soon, she came upon a house. This house belonged to the three Pukes: Papa Puke, Mama Puke, and Baby Puke. Well, Goldilocks was a part time magazine salesman and a real dumbass so, when no one answered after she knocked, she walked right in.

"Well geeminy!", said Goldilocks. For there, at the table in the kitchen, were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks was hungry because, earlier that day, she had been smoking the weed her Grandmother kept stashed in the cookie jar along with her meth kit so Goldilocks tasted the porridge from the first bowl.

"This porridge is too hot!" she exclaimed just before she gagged.

So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.

"This porridge is too cold," she said and then urped a little.

So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge.

"Ahhh, this porridge is just right," she said happily and she ate it all up, but she felt a little woozy.

After she'd eaten the three breakfasts, she decided she was feeling a little tired because she had been humping a lot the past few days. So, she walked into the living room where she saw three chairs. Goldilocks sat in the first chair to rest her feet.

Well, the first chair was too big, and the second chair was was too big, but the third chair was just right. But, too bad for Goldilocks! Because as soon as she sat in the third chair, her guts let go and, out of her mouth came a forceful expulsion of her stomach contents that was so powerful she rocked back in the chair and it broke into a hundred tiny pieces!

Well, Goldilocks was very horny by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom to see if there was any action up there. She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then she lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then she lay down in the third bed and it was just right so Goldilocks tickled her zone of intense passions for a few minutes, then she fell asleep.

As she was sleeping, the three Pukes came home.

"Someone's been eating my porridge and I don't feel so good," growled Papa Puke.

"Someone's been eating my porridge and I don't feel so good," said Mama Puke.

"Someone's been eating my porridge and they ate it all up and I have bile rising in my mouth!" cried Baby Puke.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair and I'm pissed as hell," growled Papa Puke.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair and I'm pissed as hell," said Mama Puke.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair and they've broken it all to pieces and I just farted some," cried Baby Puke.

They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, Papa Puke growled, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed! Mama Puke, you bitch!"

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too" said Mama Puke, "I want a divorce!"

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and she's still there!" exclaimed Baby Puke.

Just then, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three Pukes. She screamed, "Help!" but it was too late. They each had their way with her until Goldilocks' Grandma paid a pretty hefty ransom to keep the three Pukes from anonymously contacting the authorities about her drug business.

THE END

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