Fraternity campout. I got there on 2pm Friday afternoon with the keg. Needless to say, we tapped it and started drinking before the truck was even unloaded.
From then until 4 am, I proceeded to drink approximately 14 beers, half a fifth of Jager, and about a dozen shots of Hot Damn and Stoli (combined, not each).
I wake up in my tent about 11 am Saturday, still drunk, hungry as all hell. I remember I have a can of mixed fruit -- healthy, tasty, chock full of vitamins.
It was also in that 10W-9000 heavy syrup.
And about five minutes after eating half the can, I knew it was not going to be pretty.
I get out of my tent, in boxers and wool socks, on all fours and proceed to egress various pieces of fruit, most of which are still whole.
Now, I should note that when I puke, some of it invariably comes through my nose. While totally gross and annoying, it's usually not that big of an issue.
But I'm usually not hurling large chunks of pinapple, pears and peaches. Which, thankfully, managed to come out my piehole.
The cherries and grapes, however, are evidently shaped just right and just squishy enough to make it into my sinuses.
So there I was ... on all fours, Indian noseblowing whole grapes and halved cherries into the ground.
From then on, any time anyone in the fraternity house went the grocery store, I got a can of fruit cocktail.
MM
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