Any chance you can hire a very old decrepit man with a walker to act like he is trying to mow the yard when the prospective holy man comes to town. You could even have him stage having a stoke.
Perhaps you could make your yard very tidy but plant some flowers in some sort of satanic design right in the middle.
Oh the possibilities.
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?