[Adept Havelock]

Herm and Carl at Balaclava, 1854:



Half a yard, Half a yard,
Half a yard onward (and punt)
All into the basement of the NFL
rode the fifty-three

Forward the Running Back!
Charge for the Linemans rump! He said
Into the basement of the NFL
rode the fifty-three.

Forward, the Fifty-Three!"
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the fans knew
Some GM had blunder'd.
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and buy (season tickets)
Into the basement of the NFL
Rode the fifty-three.

Competent teams to right of them,
Competent teams to left of them,
Competent teams in front of them
Blitz'd and stunt'd;
Throw'd at both deep and short,
Badly they played and fell,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of hell
Rode the fifty-three.

Flash'd all their playbook bare,
Flash'd as they stumbled on air
Whiffing on the blitzers there,
Rebuilding a team, while
All the world wonder'd.
Plunged in the fireworks-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Linebacker and D- Tackle
Adjustments to this fatal-stroke
blunder'd and covered in their own pee
Then they rode back, but not,
Not the fifty-three.

Competent teams to right of them,
Competent teams to left of them,
Competent teams in front of them
Blitze'd and stunte'd;
Throw'd at both deep and short,
Badly they played and fell,
through the jaws of Death,
through the mouth of hell
and folded like a pup tent..
folded, the fifty-three.

When can their tenure fade?
O the foolish moves they made!
All the league tee-heed.
Horror at the mistakes they made!
Horror as the teams future fades,
Ignoble fifty-three!


With sincere apologies to Lord Tennyson.