[CHIEF4EVER]

Adept Havelock, you know I couldn't let yours go unchallenged.......


KING CARL ACT III, SCENE 1

SCENE I. Arrowhead. Before Kickoff.

Alarum. Enter KING CARL, HERM, CHAN GAILEY, GUNTHER, and Sychophants, with notepads

KING CARL
Once more up the Centers ass, dear friends, once more;
Or close the running lane up with our blockers.
In Arrowhead there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest gameplanning and execution:
But when the blast of the first whistle blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the sloth;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the middle the Running Back
Like the Donnell Bennett of old; let the Running Back o'erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled rock
O'erhang and jutty his confounded base,
Swill'd with the wild and wasteful ocean.
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
To his full height. On, on, you noblest Johnson.
Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof!
Fathers that, like so many Running Backs,
Have in these parts from morn till even fought
And put away their pads for lack of argument:
Dishonour not your mothers; now attest
That those whom you call'd fathers did beget you.
Be copy now to men of grosser blood,
And teach them how to run the ball. And you, good QB,
Whose limbs were made in Alabama, show us here
The mettle of your handoff technique; let us swear
That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not;
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble lustre in your eyes.
I see you stand like Easter Island statues in the trenches,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Carl, Clark, and Arrowhead!'

My apologies to one Wm Shakespeare for butchering his classic.