Darth Carl Satan is a smallish individual with a full head of hair that doesn't style in the way he wishes. Due to his size, he had to develop other means of defending himself against schoolyard bullies, and as a result has developed a quick retort and self-deprecating smile that is designed to send mixed signals to those in his crosshairs. He has slightly oversized incisors, eyebrows that are slightly bushier than normal, and well-manicured fingernails. He dresses in a manner that is an attempt at hip, but somewhat stunted as a result of the insecurities that he is careful not to show in public. His eyes move more rapidly than most as he constantly assesses people. He slouches just a bit.
Welcome to NFL Sunday! At 11:00 see Peyton Manning flip off the top rope and clothesline Clay Matthews! At 2:00 Drew Brees will hit Terrell Suggs with a chair! Buy your Andrew Luck jersey and let's get reeeeeady to rummmmmble!