Darth Carl Satan is a smallish individual with a full head of hair that doesn't style in the way he wishes. Due to his size, he had to develop other means of defending himself against schoolyard bullies, and as a result has developed a quick retort and self-deprecating smile that is designed to send mixed signals to those in his crosshairs. He has slightly oversized incisors, eyebrows that are slightly bushier than normal, and well-manicured fingernails. He dresses in a manner that is an attempt at hip, but somewhat stunted as a result of the insecurities that he is careful not to show in public. His eyes move more rapidly than most as he constantly assesses people. He slouches just a bit.
In the final seven games of the 2013 season, the Chiefs averaged 34.6 points per game, scored 38 points or more 4 times, and went 2-5. The NFL has ruined the sport.